Closer

90.

Thankfully, the Italian place did delivery and after a pasta meal each that was eaten on their new couch, they hopped in the shower together.

"I think this is one of my favourite things about being with you," Eddy mumbled as Brett snuck his arms around his waist and rested his head on his chest. "Getting to shower with you."

"Is it? Why?" Brett asked, looking up at Eddy. The warm water fell in his face and he went back to resting his head on his chest.

"Because that's when I feel the closest to you."

"You're too adorable for your own good sometimes," Brett mumbled, pressing a kiss against Eddy's left collarbone. "I wish you'd feel this close even when we're not physically close, though."

"It's just me being silly, don't worry about it," Eddy sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his chin on top of Brett's head. "I love being with you always."

"I love being with you too, and you're not being silly. I'm just sad I ruined you feeling close to me without even realizing it," Brett shrugged, licking his lip. "I guess I just... I blame myself for the things you're going through and I wish I could go back in time and slap myself in the face."

"It's not your fault, I should have told you. I fucked it up for myself."

"I'm sorry anyway, for not noticing."

There was some silence between them, and it felt like the sound of the water hitting the tiles under their feet increased in volume. Eddy was the one to break through it.

"I'm just so grateful it turned out like this, that you... That you love me..." Eddy said quietly against the top of Brett's hair. "And I'm grateful for our new life together, for Elise, for the house, for how TwoSet is coming along."

Brett felt like crying, but tears of joy this time. He pulled back slightly to look Eddy in the eye despite him being blurry from the lack of glasses.
"Do you mean that? Are... Are you actually happy with how things have turned out? Do I make you happy?"

"Do I make it seem like you don't? I don't mean to, I..."

"Please answer," Brett interrupted him, biting his lip. "Do I make you happy? Or does it feel like you're still doing tricks to get closer?"

Eddy hesitated for a moment and Brett's heart dropped to his stomach. Of course he hadn't been able to undo years of idiocy in such a short time. Thinking back, he should have known. Was it selfish to hope Eddy would love him now?

"It doesn't really feel like I'm doing tricks anymore. Or most of the time, anyway," Eddy mumbled, licking his lips. "I feel like... Like maybe you won't push me away even if I... Even if I'm me? Even if I let go just a little."

"I'm sorry it's not all the time," Brett sighed, tiptoeing up to kiss him softly. He let a hand rest on his cheek as he did, ignoring himself being heartbroken from causing his uncertainty. "I'll try my best to get you there. I'll try harder. I want to make you happy."

"Don't work so hard for me, I'll sort it out myself," Eddy said quietly, running his hand through Brett's wet hair. They had just stood under the water for what felt like forever, but it felt to Eddy like all his insecurities and doubts were slowly washed off by it. It was just him and Brett, and everything was fine.

"Let me help, please," Brett whispered, kissing Eddy again but this time on the side of the mouth. "I want to help."

"You already do, so much. Thank you," Eddy mumbled, his lips almost brushing over Brett's. "Thank you."