Closer

68.

It felt like his heart was going to burst with joy the whole ride back to Eddy's house, and his smile simply wouldn't fade. The newest ultrasound images rested safely in his pocket, and everything was perfect.

That was until he parked outside Eddy's house and he remembered how badly he had fucked up by not even thinking to ask Eddy to come. Eddy should have been there for this, they should have done this together.

Going inside, he felt his heart rate go up with nervousness. How badly had he fucked Eddy's mood up now? Would he be crying?

"I'm back," Brett said into the house before listening to Eddy's chair slowly scrsping against the floor as he stood up and his soft steps out to the front door. Brett felt the guilt bite him when he saw Eddy's red, empty eyes.

"How did it go?" Eddy asked, smiling only with his mouth. It was kind of unsettling. Brett looked up at him for a bit, not knowing what to say. Instead he hugged Eddy tightly, feeling Eddy stiffly placing his arms around him.

"Is something wrong?"

Brett felt tears press on from the guilt.
"No, no, she's fine... She... It's a girl... I'm just... You should have been there and I didn't even think... I'm so sorry..." he rambled, hugging Eddy tighter as he spoke.

"It's fine, Brett, don't worry about it. It wasn't my place to be there, I guess," Eddy mumbled, rubbing Brett's back. It felt like an unnatural movement.

"No, Eddy, you... We're going to be parents, you... Of course you should have been there when we learned it's a girl..."

"But you don't want it to be 'we' who'll be parents, right? I'm... I don't want to force myself into that role and take that from you," Eddy mumbled, still holding Brett. "It's okay, I'm... I'm grateful for what I have... I'm lucky to have this."

"I do want that, I do, I do, I'm so sorry I keep fucking up okay, but I really really do want you to be our daughter's dad as well, that we'll be parents together like a proper family," Brett explained, almost hysterically. "Please please please believe me, Eddy, even though I fucked up. Please."

Brett felt the room spinning around him as the weight of the world crushed him down, making it harder to breathe. Had it not been for Eddy's arms around him, he would have sunk to the floor.
"P... Please," Brett gasped, his breaths becoming shorter and quicker. Holy shit, what was happening?

"Are you okay?"

Eddy's voice felt like it was spoken to him through water, like he was under water and struggling to breathe. Drowning. He could feel himself shake, and the feeling of constantly falling overtook him.

But Eddy didn't let go as Brett broke down into a panic attack in his arms, no matter how much he was hurting and needed Brett.
"Shh, Brett, it's okay. Take a deep breath," Eddy mumbled, pressing his lips against the top of Brett's head. "Breathe with me, love. It's fine."