•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•
(Sorry for any delays) :)
✰ Author: Yuliaflora
✰ Book Name: The Scarlet Twilights
✰ Score: 18
✰ Cover:
The colour of the cover is pretty and I like the image of the male. However, it seems a bit too busy, especially with the writing everywhere. (3/5)
✰ Blurb/Summary:
The blurb seems good, but does not make sense. To help you I've rewritten it so it's grammatically correct:
'A young girl with a passionate and adventurous personality lives a simple life. Or that he what she thought, until she finds herself trapped in a never ending nightmare. With no clue of what's happened in the past she must find out what is happening.
One girl. Three deals. Seven protectors.'
(You can add more to this too). (3/5)
✰ Writing Style:
In the first chapter I liked how you opened with the action. It was interesting, however you could've made it even better by starting with describing the characters five senses. This makes the description more realistic and vivid.
Subsequently, remember you only start a new paragraph where there is a change of topic, change of viewpoint/speaker, change of time or change of place.
A lot of your sentences are short so try include more complex sentences and staring sentences and chapters more intriguingly.
For example, your writing lacks ambitious and descriptive vocabulary. (6/10)
✰ SPAG
There were some incorrect capital letters and some other minor mistakes. Punctuation needs to be used more in your writing. Try using colons, semi colons and brackets. Brackets and hyphens are especially good for complex sentences. (3/5)
✰ Characters/Plot:
The characters are fascinating, unique and relatable. I don't usually read these sort of stories however I found it quite engaging. I would say that you could show character emotions more. For example, if a character is crying describe it to the reader. What is he/she doing? Etc. In my opinion the plot was predictable and I would've liked it to be more thought-provoking and have twists.
(3/5)
✰ Recap
Firstly, rewrite your blurb and just edit through your work. Then try to improve your writing by making it more descriptive and ambitious.
~Thanks
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