•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•
✰ Author: MelissaLennox20
✰ Book Name: The Harmaio's
✰ Score: 27/30
✰ Cover:
The cover is sophisticated and has a nice colour theme. The title is unusual but again I like it. (5/5)
✰ Blurb/Summary:
The blurb seems a bit colloquial due to the ellipses used at the end of the two sentences.
I knew what you meant by the 1% but you need to be a bit more obvious about it.
This is an example I wrote that is still similar to what you would want to portray:
Ever wanted to know how the small minority of society lived? The rich and the powerful?
Malevolent murders, strings of lovers and business rivalries.
This is the story of the Harmaio family!
(4/5)
✰ Writing Style:
Firstly, your writing is remarkable. The opening drew me in: it was funny in a dark way and it was short, snappy action. Your speech is a strong point for you- that being said try to include indirect speech too. I do think that you can start sentences in more varying ways, instead of nouns. Subsequently, at the end of paragraphs leave a hook to create suspense before the next chapter. Other than, as i said, your a great writer and these are just suggestions for you to go that extra mile. (9/10)
✰ SPAG
It is evident that your work has been edited as I didn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes. Punctuation could be a bit more varied with the use of colons, semicolons and hyphens. (4/5)
✰ Characters/Plot:
Every character has their distinctive personality and I loved them all. Thy were cute, funny and mysterious. I wouldn't change anything about them. The plot is a bit confusing at the beginning however as I delved into the story more it became clearer. It's an amazing story so far and I would recommend it. (5/5)
✰ Recap
I know this is bad but this critique is short because I was so engrossed in the story that I wasn't looking for improvements. Thus, it's quite clear that you are a talented writer. Though, as I said, try to vary between direct and indirect speech as some chapters were mostly just speech. Subsequently, try including colons and brackets to have short and complex sentences.
~Thanks
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