HM's Critiques

(17)

•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•

✰ Author: Berlykate
✰ Book Name: Heart of Crystals
✰ Score: 25/30

✰ Cover:
The cover is appealing and the font is very clear other than that there's no negative potions about it. (5/5)

✰ Blurb/Summary:
I love the idea of using the speech and then including a description of the story. It's detailed and reveals just the right amount of the plot. Good work! (5/5)

✰ Writing Style:
I did not feel bored by your writing as the chapters were not too lengthy. You are able to use complex and simple sentences to ensure your story has a fact pace and at times slow.
Some of your chapters begin with a cliff hanger or interest however other chapters introductions can be improved with emotive and more descriptive sentences.
You are great at writing speech and differentiating between the characters, however sometimes use indirect speech where speech isn't necessary. Other than that you used onomatopoeia which many worriers don't include. (7/10)

✰ SPAG
There were minor spelling errors. Grammar was good. Some more ambitious punctuation could be included. (4/5)

✰ Characters/Plot:
The characters were all so different and had different roles in creating the start of an amazing story. I loved their personalities however I do feel you could've expanded on their emotions a bit more.
It is clear you put a lot of thought in the plot as the storyline builds up gradually and everything's been thought of. (4/5)

✰ Recap
Overall your story was great- something I would choose to read- and your writing is creative. It was intriguing, unique and hooked you in. I would say to improve you could bring sentences more with adverbs, adjectives etc. Try using more punctuation types and include more plot twist.
Keep up the work.

~Thanks
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