HM's Critiques

(48)

•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•

✰ Author: @scorflix
✰ Book Name: I Cant Believe This Happened To Me
✰ Score: 25

✰ Cover:
I like the fonts on the cover but seeing your work and graphic designs I know you can do much much better. Personally I don't think you should use actual faces of people on a cover as everyone imagines characters differently. (3/5)

✰ Blurb/Summary:
The blurb is perfect. It's actually quite simple but it's a great summary and reveals just enough information to intrigue the reader. I would definitely read a book with that blurb. I also like the use of short sentences too. (5/5)

✰ Writing Style:
I love the way you've set out your chapters. It's quite unique and fascinating. You use a good variety of both short and complex sentences and the chapters weren't boring. Your chapter starters have a good hook e.g. when you wrote 'I want to burn this house to ashes.' I would definitely recommend you do that more. You do use some language techniques like repetition but try and include more and use more ambitious vocabulary just to make things more interesting rather than simple. Perhaps elaborate on descriptions to create more imagery, this can be done through the language you use and techniques like similes and metaphors. (8/10)

✰ SPAG
There weren't spelling errors so well done. Punctuation has actually been used but try including some colons, hyphens and brackets in sentences. (4/5)

✰ Characters/Plot:
Great character emotion descriptions. From the first chapter I immediately felt like I understood the character and wanted to know more about her life. The characters are funny and emotive and I actually love the sarcasm of the meany oldie. I would like to see more twists in the plot and I'd like to read more too. So far the storyline is good. (5/5)

✰ Recap
I'd recommend you just add to your descriptions and include more vivid descriptions through the language used.

~Thanks
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