•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•
✰ Author: Turquoise_reads
✰ Book Name: My Hyena
✰ Score: 24/30
✰ Cover:
The cover is pretty although it could use some colour- perhaps in the title. (5/5)
✰ Blurb/Summary:
The blurb is enticing, luring and includes the reader through the rhetorical questions. One thing I would say is that it's not 'whom' but who in the context of your sentences. Apart from that, good job. (4/5)
✰ Writing Style:
From the start of the chapter it is clear that your strength is speech. You clearly differentiate between the characters and explain how each person speaks.
One improvement you could make is to include more vivid imagery. For example at the start of chapter 3 instead of saying Tessana was trying to control her crying, show it. Explain what's happening to her body etc.
Furthermore, try to begin some chapters without speech. Try something that'll hook the reader and keep them on their toes.
This is just a random example of mine of how to include the above points:
"I felt a surge of adrenaline. I forced my legs to push harder, anticipating the relief of lying in my warm bed. I encountered a hole in the path and came to an abrupt halt. My screaming busted through my lungs, for that was the only weapon I had." See how it's all mysterious and makes you question everything?
Other than that your chapters are just the right length to keep everything interesting and you build up the suspense of the story. (7/10)
✰ SPAG
There were some minor grammar errors but not much. I'd suggest just double checking your chapters so they're perfect.
You did at times change between the present tense and the past tense which needs to be kept consistent. (4/5)
✰ Characters/Plot:
I love the character of Tessana. Despite what she's going through she's funny and high spirited. She has great potential. Other than that each character has their own personality and that's great to see.
You build up your plot and I thoroughly loved reading the few chapters of your story. (4/5)
✰ Recap
Overall you are good at writing speech and building tension to a plot. Try to include more vivid imagery and use complex and short sentences to do it.
~Thanks
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