HM's Critiques

(28)

•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•

✰ Author: d_writes_
✰ Book Name: The Illusionary Barrier
✰ Score: 16

✰ Cover:
I don't think the cover is intriguing enough. It doesn't really catch your attention and doesn't seem to link to the book. The title however is an interesting one. (2/5)

✰ Blurb/Summary:
Firstly, capital letters need to be used in the blurb. Also, I know that as the writer it's your choice what to write but personally, I only read books with an enticing blurb and this didn't really spark my interest. If you need help you could check: https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.blurb.com/blog/writing-blurbs-for-novels/amp/. (2/5)

✰ Writing Style:
Firstly, I'd say that the speech was a bit confusing- try to organise it neatly. Also, perhaps put the characters thoughts in italics. Other than that, it was interesting to read tour book as it's not something I usually read.
Things you could do include: starting chapters with a cliff hanger by using adjectives or short sentences, using more ambitious vocabulary and describing the setting more so the reader can imagine it clearly. However, I liked how the chapters weren't long and boring instead they were short and suspenseful.
(5/10)

✰ SPAG
There were minor spelling and grammar errors. You need to include more exciting punctuation like colons and hyphens. (3/5)

✰ Characters/Plot:
The characters could be more developed so we can imagine them clearly. For example explain characters emotions through their actions, words etc. So instead is saying they were panicking explain how they were sweating or pacing etc.
Apart from that each character has a different personality and I like their names. The plot is good so far, well done.
(4/5)

✰ Recap
Overall try to organise your work and work on improving it so it's more descriptive, exciting and compelling.

~Thanks
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