•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•
✰ Author: Musical_raindrop
✰ Book Name: His Bella
✰ Score: 24/30
✰ Cover:
Pretty cover and title. I would however say that the white font doesn't go with the image. (4/5)
✰ Blurb/Summary:
The blurb. Well what can I say. I loved it! The use of 3 adjectives was great. The speech was like a cliffhanger and the idea of the two lovers drew me in. (5/5)
✰ Writing Style:
Although the introduction to the first chapter was compelling there were some errors. These are the corrections for some: "Thinking of the possibility of who it could be..." "He has a girlfriend," and "...who are always invisible."
Something I noticed was that a lot of your sentences begin with "but" and really connectives should be in the middle of a sentence. To change this you can either join the sentences together instead of separating them or start the sentences differently.
You do use rhetorical questions, repetition, some good vocabulary etc.
Now in the chapter named "rumours are not always rumours" I was intrigued by the list of short sentences you used at the end. It really expressed the character's chaotic mind and the situation. (8/10)
✰ SPAG
There weren't spelling errors however there was some incorrect capitalisation and grammar errors. Punctuation was used but you could try using semicolons, colons, brackets and hyphens in place of connectives. (3/5)
✰ Characters/Plot:
The protagonist was presented as fascinating and at times you expressed her emotions quite well. Continue working on showing them instead of telling the reader how she felt.
Other than that, I loved the plot and the idea of the mysterious writer/s. I'd love to read on so keep up the good work. (4/5)
✰ Recap
To sum up everything I'd say your imagination is great and the story plot you have created so far has potential. Try editing through your chapters to ensure there aren't any errors and work on improving your sentences- try making them as ambitious as possible. Just don't make it lengthy and over the top. Apart from that, good writing.
~Thanks
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