•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•
✰ Author: xWriting4youx
✰ Book Name: 1979 Boss 429
✰ Score: 22
✰ Cover:
The cover is mysterious however it's just not something I would choose. (4/5)
✰ Blurb/Summary:
The blurb is great; it's short and intriguing. I especially like the little insight into the book. Just don't forget the inverted commas (speech marks). (4/5)
✰ Writing Style:
The opening to chapter one- although not very descriptive- immediately grabbed my attention. You don't instantly reveal what is happening, rather you described it which was great. Firstly, something to remember is that when you use adverbs at the start of sentences you use a comma after the world (like in this sentence). Towards the end of the chapter I would suggest that you build the suspense. Perhaps she hears or sees something etc. Also, why not try using onomatopoeia when describing sounds, like the car breaking- it just helps create more imagery. A positive point is that you describe the characters feelings through their actions instead of saying she was sacred, he was angry, which can be boring. You did use repetition which was good. Work on writing more challenging sentences in some paragraphs so it's descriptive. Whilst I was reading some chapters I felt that there were too many short sentences and it lost its effect. Finally, try starting most/ all of your chapters in ambitious ways, like 3 adjectives in a row, using the five senses, metaphors or onomatopoeia. (7/10)
✰ SPAG
There were some incorrect/ missing capital letters and minor spelling errors. Grammar was good and you successfully kept to one tense. Punctuation should be used in a larger variety of ways. (3/5)
✰ Characters/Plot:
From what I read, the characters are mysterious and I can already feel that they have different and exciting personalities. The story is good and I hope it gets even better further on. Keep up the work! (4/5)
✰ Recap
To finish, I would recommend you just skim through chapters to check for errors and use capital letters at the start of speech because they are sentences too. Work on guiding suspense and using more descriptive/ emotive language.
~Thanks
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