•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•
✰ Author: queensalsabeel
✰ Book Name: Wrong Lies
✰ Score: 15/30
✰ Cover:
Pretty cover and pretty font I wouldn't change it. The title links to the story but could be more creative. (4/5)
✰ Blurb/Summary:
The summary needs to be re edited. The first thing I noticed was the colloquial language. You use 'tho' instead of though, which is not professional. Your first sentence doesn't make sense. The second sentence needs to be reworded to "Still, she always wanted to know who her real parents were."
Your second paragraph is one huge sentence with lots of commas and ands. The same goes for the third paragraph. If your using commas for clauses it's only used once in a sentence.
Due to this the blurb is confusing.
(1/5)
✰ Writing Style:
The quote in the first chapter is deep and meaningful and the introduction of the characters is interesting.
However you use colloquial language way too much which is very informal and shouldn't be in a story- this is more of a bad habit. Try using synonyms for words that you repeat a lot. Furthermore, your paragraphs are basically long sentences; you need to vary between short and complex sentences.
You also switch between tenses- try to consistently keep to one.
I didn't read much because it was just too colloquial for me and seemed more like I was reading someone's texts.
(4/10)
✰ SPAG
There were some minor spelling errors, and grammar mistakes. Punctuation was used incorrectly at times and to split sentences you need to use colons, hyphens or brackets. There were many grammar mistakes.
(2/5)
✰ Characters/Plot:
The characters had distinctive personalities- I'd suggest out their inner thoughts/ speech in italics so it's not confusing. Other than that I liked the character. The plot was confusing at first but became a little clearer later on in the story. (4/5)
✰ Recap
Overall, your characters were good and the idea of welcoming them was great. I'd suggest using both short and long sentences into our writing. Re edit it for grammar, punctuation and repetition mistakes. Also try to keep your writing formal. Other than that good work.
~Thanks
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