HM's Critiques

(44)

•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•
(Sorry for any delays) :)

✰ Author: Moonprince992
✰ Book Name: Fairytale Next Generation
✰ Score: 21

✰ Cover:
Honestly, the book cover can be better. The words are cut off, there's no title and the images are not that exciting. (1/5)

✰ Blurb/Summary:
The blurb is short but it's actually fits quite well. It's short, simple and straight to the point. I don't find anything wrong with it. (5/5)

✰ Writing Style:
For the opening paragraph I think you should start with the fighting scene rather than the speech. When writing fighting scenes remember to use short sentences to create a fast pace and make it more realistic.
Your speech is great as it's not overly lengthy or boring however, try to include some indirect speech too.
There isn't much to say writing wise as a lot of the chapters consist of speech.
I would recommend that you start sentence more interestingly instead of with names of characters or proper nouns.
Also, try starting each chapter uniquely and with a hook.
I've never really read anime but it would be nice if you added some vivid descriptions in and expand your vocabulary. (6/10)

✰ SPAG
There were some spelling errors.  Punctuation needs to be used more varying my. Include colons and semi colons in your writing- this can especially be good during fighting scenes to fasten the pace. (3/5)

✰ Characters/Plot:
The characters all have fascinating personalities and are both funny and intriguing. Despite me not being interested in anime I quite liked reading the start of your story and the plot was something new for me. I like how you create the chemistry between the characters and make them humorous.
(5/5)

✰ Recap
Try to expand on your vocabulary and include more exciting descriptions-whether that's of a setting or a character. Try to edit your work whilst reading through it to ensure you have no errors.

~Thanks
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