•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•
✰ Author: BellaFFW22
✰ Book Name: The Apocolypse
✰ Score: 20/30
✰ Cover:
The cover is okay however I don't get the immediate link between the image and the story at first sight. (3/5)
✰ Blurb/Summary:
I prefer a few paragraphs for the blurb however your blurb is commanding hence interesting. Personally, I would add a line or two about the protagonist/s. Apart from that I actually like it. (4/5)
✰ Writing Style:
The opening to the first chapter was different to what I read usually - in a good way. Try to cut back a bit on the opening because it started lagging on for a few paragraphs. However as the speech began it did become more interesting.
I noticed that you need to break up the long paragraphs into shorter ones. This is when there is a change of topic, change of viewpoint, change of time, change of speaker and change of place. Short paragraphs are usually more compelling as they are fast paced.
You used a range of adjectives and adverbs to describes actions and things which created more vivid imagery. (7/10)
✰ SPAG
There were some minor spelling errors like: strict, under and their.
At some points you used too many or too little commas. Perhaps you could try brackets for informations and colons to shorten sentences. (3/5)
✰ Characters/Plot:
The characters-Lexy- need to be described more. Explain to the reader how she felt and let the reader get to know her. Apart from that the plot is good and I liked the idea of the hacker... with some edits the chapters will be even better. (3/5)
✰ Recap
Overall your English is good and your writing is also appealing. I'd say you should work on describing Lexy's emotions. Break down paragraphs and try to vary between short and long sentences to change the pace of the story.
I hope to see your next chapter!
~Thanks
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