•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•
✰ Author: IHaveNostrils
✰ Book Name: Monsters Fear Too
✰ Score: 19/30
✰ Cover:
The cover is good but not something I would see and choose to read the book. I think that is mostly because I do not picture the character like that. Perhaps use a silhouette. Other than that the title is captivating and would make me want to read the story. (3/5)
✰ Blurb/Summary:
The blurb is not bad but can be improved to make it more powerful. I'd suggest adding a rhetorical question at the ending and add a sentence or two more about Claudia. I love the title. (4/5)
✰ Writing Style:
The first chapter was suspenseful and exhilarating, you described Claudia's emotions in detail and I could clearly imagine her fear.
You have vivid descriptions and develop the fear and importance of the vampire at the start.
I love the use of repetition as it reiterated Claudia's feelings and again keeps you on tenterhooks.
Some more ambitious vocabulary can be used for words like 'scared,' 'anxious,' 'bad'and 'nice'.
Further on, I believe some chapters contain unnecessary descriptions like Claudia going to her room or walking somewhere which just prolong the writing. Try using longer sentences in some paragraphs and start the chapters with adverbs etc instead of 'Claudia' or 'she'...
(6/10)
✰ SPAG
There were 1-2 spelling errors. Grammar mistakes were 'exhaustion' and 'Pulled forward her chair' - correction. You did use some variations of punctuation. (3/5)
✰ Characters/Plot:
I do think you could've had more on the characters and their personality. Other than that the character's themselves have different types of personalities. The storyline is good just make sure there's no cliches. (3/5)
✰ Recap
Overall, the story itself is good and you describe Claudia's actions and emotions greatly. I'd recommend you don't start sentences with Claudia or she and they. Try to limit descriptions to keep a fast pace to the story- use one word sentences maybe.
~Thanks
❁ Comment & Vote
YOU ARE READING
HM's Critiques
Non-FictionClosed Are you looking for a detailed and honest critique of your book? Are you looking to improve your writing and be more successful? Or perhaps you just want some writing tips? Fill the form and get your critique! Current Queue: {All books I cr...
