HM's Critiques

(15)

•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•

✰ Author: unwritten2244
✰ Book Name: Endevinia School of the Arts.
✰ Score: 23/30

✰ Cover:
The cover image is great but the font is a bit blurry. (4/5)

✰ Blurb/Summary:
The summary is really intriguing and I immediately knew I would like to read the book. Just a few tweaks: the second paragraph is meant to say "a music prodigy" not an. I would also use glamorous as a new sentence.
Another correction is "'not in the slightest." (4/5)

✰ Writing Style:
The first chapter was sweet and started off the storyline very well as it kept me hooked. There were some changes of tenses but that's not too much of a problem.
Firstly I would suggest to portray your characters feelings through how they speak and their actions. So instead of saying Aria was getting angry or frustrated you could explain how she tapped her fingers on the table or clenched her jaw. It just adds that extra detail and creates a better imagery.
I do notice that you use repetition for effect and I like it because it shows the realities of the city. Not everything is as perfect as the government says.A lot of your sentences do start with nouns and that can become boring to read. As I've said to other writers try starting off with adverbs or adjectives- which you do use but in the middle of sentences.
Another thing you could do to write more creatively is substitute words like loud, big, quickly, hate etc with more creative words.
Lastly- this is just an extra point- I would suggest you put characters inner speech or thoughts in italics so it doesn't get confusing. (7/10)

✰ SPAG
There were a few minor spelling and grammar errors but nothing too problematic. Your use of punctuation could be more varied but your sentence structures are good. (3/5)

✰ Characters/Plot:
Now the characters. I love the characters so far; each one of them has a distinctive and unique personality. They're funny, sarcastic and fascinating.
The story line is exciting, as is your imagination. I would not change anything with the plot and I'd love to read more about what happens. (5/5)

✰ Recap
Overall your plot is compelling and so are your characters. Your writing is short and not prolonged however it can be improved by using more ambitious vocabulary and language/ structural features.

~Thanks
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