HM's Critiques

(24)

•I'll be giving positive and negative opinions. How you respond to the feedback is up to you.•

✰ Author: yo_fave_slimmy
✰ Book Name: Made in San French- cisco
✰ Score: 25

✰ Cover:
The cover is sophisticated and links well to the story. I also like the play on words in the title. (5/5)

✰ Blurb/Summary:
Again this section is short because your blurb is written to capture the reader's attention. At first I thought it sounded cliche but I loved the twist at the end- with the rhetorical question. By reading the summary I knew I wanted to delve into the book. (5/5)

✰ Writing Style:
Firstly, I do love how you start the chapters with the definitions; it sums up the whole chapter in one word very nicely. {out of context- yayy you wrote in the present tense like I do!.}
Your first chapter was great. I can tell you write speech very well. You had some ambitious vocabulary but it could be used more. Something I would say to include is indirect speech.
-Another thing you could do is to start off sentences more interestingly, rather than with proper nouns.
Perhaps when the character get to Toulouse you can describe the place in detail- including descriptive vocabulary and the use of the five senes. (7/10)

✰ SPAG
It seems that your book has been edited as there weren't any spelling or grammar errors. Punctuation needs to be used more varyingly. E.g. hyphens, colons and brackets. (3/5)

✰ Characters/Plot:
The characters are all intriguing and have unique personalities. Although I do think that Reese's hyper ness can be toned down. 
Your first chapters are great and have the potential to develop into a book with a gripping storyline. (5/5)

✰ Recap
To conclude, I was entirely engrossed in your book and your writing style is remarkable. The chapters aren't too long as are compelling it read. To make things even more interesting try using indirect speech, varying sentence lengths and sentences starters. Great job so far!

~Thanks
❁ Comment & Vote