Red Strings of Fate (Haunted Series 2)

Strings 39: Cruel Fate

"Hindi ka pupunta dito para walang sasabihin."

"Ano pa bang sasabihin ko?! I want to talk to you but you shut me out! You hide things from me!"

"Looks like you're talking about yourself."

Gulat akong lumingon sa kanya, nag-init ang mukha ko. Hindi ko naman inexpect na babalik sa'kin ang sinabi ko.

I walk, suddenly needing movement, and head for the edge of the balcony facing the maid's quarters. "Gusto kong intindihan lahat TJ, pero andami mong tinatago sa'kin."

He smiles eerily. "And what? Are you going to stop being angry if I say, my mother was killed by your father?"

"Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Smiling while you're saying painful things. You shouldn't be smiling about that." Binaon ko ang ngipin ko sa aking ibabang labi. "I don't like it when you put a mask on in front of me, I told you I hate it."

He follows me and invades my space. "Stop avoiding my question. If I make myself pitiable to you, will you suddenly forgive and talk to me?"

"It's not like that, and you know it."

"Why are you here, Hope? Is it because of guilt?" Pilit niyang hinuli ang mga mata ko. "It is, isn't it? I want to win you back, but gaining you through guilt is not it."

"Hindi mo na lang sasabihin sa'kin?" Napailing ako sa kanya. "It's not guilt! I care for you Teej. I care for you, and I want to know what's happening to you. Share your burdens with me. I want you to trust me."

Tiningnan lang niya ako at matagal kaming pinanggitnaan ng katahimikan.

Mabagal akong napailing. "That's it? You have nothing else to say... Palagi tayong ganito TJ."

"What else do you want to hear? I already told you everything but you don't believe me. Akala mo nilalapitan kita for revenge." Kita ko ang mga ugat sa kanyang mga braso habang mahigpit niyang hinahawakan ang bakal na railing malapit sa akin. "You want me to trust you but you got to work on your trust issues baby."

"Syempre may trust issues ako! You didn't tell me everything!"

I glare at him, forcing myself to keep the hurt away from my voice.

"Years ago, iniyakan kita. Hindi kita ma-contact. Hindi na ako babalik sa San Raigo at naisip kong pinutol mo ang komunikasyon natin dahil doon. I hated making friends. I hated feeling I'd leave them behind eventually. And then it became a good thing. I'm glad of leaving because I don't have to make complicated relationships.

Hindi mo kasalanan ang nangyari. I know that now. But I grew up guarded and afraid of getting too close to anyone.

Nagkita uli tayo, and I was so happy. You asked me if I trusted you. I told you I trusted you, but you broke it, TJ. Nawala ka. Again. I wasn't even granted an explanation for it. Umaasa ka na tatanggapin ko lang na aalis ka ng ilang buwan at babalik sa dati na parang walang nangyari?"

"You were scared of me! You were having nightmares every night. Screaming my name, shouting for me to stop. To stay away from you." Lito akong tumitig sa kanya, lito kong pinagmasdan ang sakit sa kanyang mga mukha. "Did I scare you my Hope?"

"Never. Not once, TJ." I held his gaze. Was that the reason he left? "...Growing up I always felt like Ate Beauty and Nana knew more about my parents. Nakumbinsi ko ang sarili ko na hindi nila magagawang magtago sa'kin... ngayong linggo, nalaman kong tama pala ang instincts ko. Gusto kong magtiwala naman sa instincts ko TJ."

Pinasadahan niya ang mukha ko at tumango. "What are your instincts telling you?"

"That I should protect myself from you..."