Good Morning :P I have summer holidays in a few hours uwuu. Sooo basically I will be in Croatia from tomorrow until Saturday next week. There won't be regularly updates, I'm sorry. I will upload but not every day. So i enjoy the chapter haha. And thank you for 23k!! You guys are unbelievable!
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Alecs POV
I sat at the table and watched Magnus swimming in the water. Noah was next to him and they splashed at each other. They laughed a lot. How much I missed his laugh, but it hurt so much that I was not the one who got it out of him. I do not want to be selfish, but my heart breaks every time, when I see that.
The way he looked at me before gave me hope, but it was now extinguished again. He seemed happy. He had found somebody new and given me the past. I wish I could do it that easy too.
Of course, I was not a fan of Noah, but he could offer Magnus what I never could. A safe, happy life. With me there would always be problems. Noah seemed like a good person to me and as long as he makes Magnus happy I should not complain. All I ever wanted is that he is happy.
I probably would never get over him, but at least he could move on. I watched them for a while until I decided to clean up. After all, I was the only one who was not in the water. I put all the paper plates together and dumped them in a trash can.
"Hey, Bud. Everything alright with you?" someone asked. I looked up and saw Ragnor. I looked at him confused. I liked Ragnor when Magnus and I were still together, but I do not think he wants anything to do with me anymore.
"Why do you ask?" I asked. Why was he interested in that? He shrugged and started to help me cleaning up.
"You looked so sad. I can not blame you, but I did not want to leave you so alone." he said and smiled at me. I smiled back. Maybe he did not hate me.
"I thought you hated me?" I asked carefully. He looked at me in surprise.
"Why should I hate you?" he asked in confusion. He put the sauces together and put them in the bag.
"Well, after what I did." I explained. He shook his head.
"I didn't like that you ran away, but I do not hate you, maybe I'm just a little angry." he said with a smile. I sighed but was glad that not everyone hated me.
"You're not the only one." I admitted and looked at Magnus. Noah had his arm wrapped around him. Ouch.
"Give him time, he pretended to have processed everything, but that was not true." he explained. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I do not think I can save anything there, I screwed it up." I explained. Ragnor just looked at me. He knew that I was right. Again I looked at the two, with a jealous look.
"I've known Magnus ever since he was a little boy, I've never seen him so done as when you broke up with him, he was not himself anymore, he was having a hard time, and he needed a hold. No matter what we did, we did not give him that hold, but then there was Noah, he was there for him. " he explained. As if he had seen my jealous look.
"And what does that mean for me now?" I asked in confusion. I did not really want to hear how much I hurt him. I already knew that.
"What I mean is that he clings to Noah, he's scared that if he lets Noah go, something could happen to him that could hurt him like that. I do not know if he loves Noah. Probably, but not in the way he maybe wanted." he explained to me. I had to process what he said first. Does that mean that there is still hope? "Give his heart a break." he added. I sighed and looked back at him.
"I'm so sorry for everything." I admitted quietly. Ragnor looked at me and smiled lovingly at me. "I just wish I could tell him that, I just do not know how." I meant.
"You will find the right words." he said. His words set me up. He gave me a bit of hope. Even if it seemed hopeless, there was something between me and Magnus. Maybe that's just me, but it feels real.
As I was about to look up again to look back at him, I noticed that he was out of the water on his way to the table. I tensed immediately. His presence made me nervous even as I enjoyed it. His upper body was free and damp from the water. His hair was stuck to his forehead because they were also wet. He came to the table and also helped with the tidying up. I looked at him in confusion.
"What are you doing here?" ask Ragnor. He did not look up but just did it.
"I did not want to be in the water any more, besides, the others would not be involved in cleaning up, so at least I'll help." he said. Ragnor just nodded in surprise. Then it was quiet. None of us talked. The silence was rather unpleasant. After a while Ragnor cleared his throat.
"I'll go and take the garbage for a moment." he said. Magnus looked at him reproachfully. He just shrugged and disappeared. Now only Magnus and I were here. Again this silence.
"Will you give me the cutlery, please?" he asked, but did not look at me. I nodded and gave it to him.
"Can you please stop that?" I asked then. He still did not look up.
"What exactly?" he asked coldly. I took a deep breath and swallowed.
"To pretend we never existed, I try to fight for us." I admitted. Now he looked at me in surprise. There was that angry glint in his eyes, which I saw with us last night.
"Just so you know, you fight for someone during the relationship and not after that, especially not a year later." he said and looked down again. I sighed.
"Better than not at all." I meant. Now he looked up angrily again. I wanted to beat myself at that moment. I should not have said that.
"Do not pretend I never fought for us, because I did, long enough, all the messages I left you crying for, thinking I'd never be happy again. You did not answer once. You probably did not even listen to them! I'm sick of fighting" he snapped.
"So you're with Noah because you do not have to fight?" I asked. He looked at me in horror.
"Like I said, it's none of your business and even if, what's wrong with that, why don't you just leave it?" he replied loudly. I jumped. He had never really shouted at me.
"Everything fine here?" Noah asked as he came to it. He put his hand on Magnus's shoulder while Magnus glared at me. I gave Noah a hostile look.
"Alright, I just wanted to go anyway." I said and took my bag. I left, but I could feel Magnus's eyes on me. Does not seem like he would want to do anything with me anymore.
YOU ARE READING
You don't know me
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] "Everyone knows you, Alec. Your reputation tells us all-" Alec interrupted me by pushing me. His eyes were wet and red due to the drugs he took in - and for a second it looked like he was about to cry. He held me by my neck and came clos...
