It was Monday and I decided to skip school. I had not heard from Magnus since our fight. I hadn't texted him myself. I did not know what. I felt so guilty.
I hoped that I could get that right with Magnus again. I sat on the sofa and watched TV. I tried to distract myself but that did not work so easily. I felt empty without Magnus. I wanted to get back to the drugs, but I knew that was wrong.
Magnus was definitely more important to me than the drugs. In fact, he was the most important thing. I could not imagine anything worse than losing him. That's why I have to bend that straight again.
Only I didn't know how. I didn't have that much money and I can not borrow it. I could not even sell anything because I never had anything valuable. Even if it were an important family heirloom, I would immediately sell it for magnus.
I turned off the TV and got up. He was not distracting me anyway. I decided to go through all my stuff and look for something useful. It can't be that I have nothing I could sell.
At that moment, I got an idea. It was stupid of me not to have thought about it before. I scoured all my hiding places and searched every little bag filled with drugs.
It would be hard to completely separate from it but Magnus is worth it. First, I get the money together and second, I have no chance to resort again to the drugs. I put everything in a backpack and made my way to downtown.
I went to some place, in the town, where I hid some of my drugs as well. I knew I would have to wait until it gets dark before I meet real buyers. I spent the rest of the day roaming the city and wandering around.
When it was finally dark I went looking for buyers. I had not done that for a long time and it feels strange to do it again, on the other hand I was sure that would be my last time.
Magnus POV
Alec was not in school today, which worried me a bit. I felt uncomfortable all day. It was bad not to know if he was okay or not.
I felt so guilty. I left him alone, though he might have needed me. I was so selfish, but I was hurt. I thought everything was fine and he was fine but then to see that it does not do so, was like a stab in my heart.
Especially it was bad for me that he wouldn't have told me. He is definitely mad at me, after all, I've acted really wrong. I was absent all day and my friends noticed that too, especially Ragnor. I wanted to talk to Ragnor about it, but I had no chance. The others were always there.
I arrived pretty late at home since we had full time school. When I arrived, I got rid of my shoes and jacket. I went to the kitchen because I had not eaten or drunk all day. I still had no appetite, but at least I should drink something.
I made myself a tea and placed myself on the sofa. I took out my phone and looked for Ragnors contact. I just had to talk to somebody about it. I dialed his number and waited impatiently.
"Hey, Magnus, what's up?" he greeted me and I breathed in relief as he picked up.
"Hey Ragnor, I need your help .." I said and leaned back.
"Is it because of Alec?" asked he. I was not really surprised that he directly knew what it was all about.
"Yes .. we had a fight and I do not know how to fix it again." I admitted.
"Tell me what happened." he said and I took a deep breath.
"So .. I had visited him after our date the next morning, I brought breakfast and when I came in, I realized that something was not right, he was acting weird, and when he went to the bathroom, I wanted to put the food on the table and there I discovered the drugs .. " I explained.
"But you already knew he's taking drugs." he said confused.
"Yeah but he promised to talk to me when he got the urge and he did not, anyways we argued and I left him alone. He might have needed me and I just left. " I admitted and I felt my heart tighten again. I was a bad boyfriend.
"Why don't you go to him and talk to him?" Ragnor asked. I took my cup and took a sip.
"He does not want me running around in the city alone at night because I was beaten and I don't want to make him any more angry." I explained. "I messed up .." I said.
"I'm sure you can fix this again, I don't know Alec but it seems like you mean a lot to him, it would be best if you write him a message and then rest." he said and I emptied my cup. He was right. I couldn't do a lot right now.
"You're right .. Thank you Ragnor, good night." I said goodbye.
"No problem, good night." he said and hung up. I went upstairs to my bedroom. I took off my clothes and rummaged through my closet.
I pulled out a black sweater and I realized that it was Alexander's sweater. That was the one he gave me when my sweater was full with blood. I pulled him over and lay down in bed with it. It still smelled like him. I missed him.
I picked up my phone and looked for Alexander's contact to write a message to him. I started tapping the message, but put it out a few times, not sure what exactly to write. After feeling ten tries I sent them off.
"Hey .. I'm sorry how I acted, I do not want to argue with you. I miss you. I understand if you do not want to talk, but please let me know if you're okay .." I wrote.
I stared at my phone for a while. When he didn't answer after ten minutes, I put away my phone and snuggled into his sweater. Tears came to my eyes. I was afraid that he now hates me.
Some tears flowed down my cheeks, but I fell asleep shortly afterwards.
YOU ARE READING
You don't know me
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] "Everyone knows you, Alec. Your reputation tells us all-" Alec interrupted me by pushing me. His eyes were wet and red due to the drugs he took in - and for a second it looked like he was about to cry. He held me by my neck and came clos...
