Mixed Signals.

75.

I could feel myself shaking as I sat on the edge of the bed. I was watching Harvey as he slept because yet again I was so worried.

"Did you get any sleep?" He smiled.

"About 40 minutes this morning." I sighed.

"Try and get some sleep today while I'm at training. The house will be quiet." He kissed my forehead gently.

"Will do." I smiled before picking up Harvey and having a cuddle with him.

**
I left them up in the bedroom and I went in and woke up Florence to get ready for school then downstairs to get some breakfast and make Harvey a bottle.

"Mummy's taking you to school today." I smiled.

"What about Harvey?"

"He's coming too." I laughed as I handed her some toast and a glass of milk so she could sit at the table and eat. I heard Erin coming down the stairs with Harvey because he was gurgling and making random baby noises again. Erin was laughing and talking to him. I handed her the bottle and she fed him some of it before getting him dressed and in the buggy.

**

Jay left at 7 and then I left at 8. Florence held the handle of the buggy as I pushed it. The sun was out and it was quite nice out actually.

"Look he's asleep." I smiled at Florence.

"He's so cute mummy. He's so small."

"Yeah well you know when I had you I told you I was pregnant for 9 months? Well with Harvey you know I was only 6 months pregnant which is why he's so little because he wasn't ready to be born yet. It happened a bit quickly but he's okay. Like you had heart problems well Harvey has had some breathing problems. But he's okay. He's just a little bit on the small side." I smiled.

"He is just so little and cute. Are you picking me up from school too?" She smiled.

"Yeah definitely. Well I'll bring Florence with me and we can go to the park yeah?" I smiled.

"Yeah!" She laughed excitedly as we went into the school playground. I gave her the school bag and her lunch, hugged and kissed her then watched as she ran into school. I composed myself and then someone tapped me.

"Oh my god. You've had a baby?"

"Oh hello Sophie. Nice to see your doing well." I smiled.

"I thought you still had months left." She laughed. "You hardly put any weight on."

"Sophie? Seriously? If you'd paid attention to my text I gave birth at 24 weeks. Harvey hardly made it. He was so ill." I sighed. "Listen I'm going." I sighed pushing the buggy away with me and we headed towards the gate. I decided I fancied a walk along the beach. Harvey was fast asleep now and he seemed okay. His temp was fine, his breathing seemed fine. He wasn't crying or anything so for now it was okay to be out I just knew I needed to pay attention to him and make sure he was okay. Like I remember everything the midwife told me. Any slight changes I need to get him checked out because of how little he was. We even had a oxygen tank and nasal tube we had to put on him every night before he slept and while he slept. It was so very stressful and so much going on at one time I was struggling to deal with it. What made it worse was Jay more focused on work because he thought I was fine with it all.

We walked along the beach for about 20 minutes before Harvey woke up and began wriggling around. He hadn't opened his eyes properly yet but I just knew when he was awake. He moved his hand so it looked like he was laying with his arm under his head. I smiled and touched his hand.