Mixed Signals.

49.

I followed Connor back in. He got her admitted, we got her back into the ward and into her bed. He sedated her and put her on strong amounts of painkillers and she literally passed out. It was almost like she was asleep. I held her hand and wiped the tears away.

"Do you want to stay with her tonight?" He smiled.

"Yeah please?" I smiled, he nodded and went to find me a blanket. I sat on the floor against a small bit of wall. I listened to the heart machine going so I could make sure she was still breathing. I could hear the machine going off. I left the brown bag of Erin's on the table and I laid down. I put Erin's old jokey hat on my head and pulled it to cover my eyes from the light. I sighed and closed my eyes again. I just began to feel myself going asleep. I just relaxed completely and for a moment all my thoughts went away.

**

Finally 5 months after the accident things were normal again. We had Erin back, our Erin back. She didn't need any assistance apart from some pain killers ever now and then when her hips and her back hurt her. Florence was 18 months old now. Like god if anything was going quickly it was certainly Florence aging up. It really was going too fast - but now hopefully we were all back we could make it go back to normal and we could actually spend the time together and not have to worry about it. I think I was more relieved to know Erin was finally okay again. I still felt guilty about the Kelly situation. But she'd promised she was okay and we were over it. I was grateful for her in my life. I didn't deserve her at all. She could of done much better but I was grateful I had her. I loved her and she was the most important thing to me ever.

*

I made breakfast and placed it on the kitchen table, I called Erin who came down with Florence. She put Florence in the high chair and smiled at me.

"I love you Mr Halstead." She smiled kissing me.

"I love you too." I kissed her gently again. She had this massive smile on her face and for the first time since we had Florence her eyes looked happy. Even her eyes were smiling. Like honestly she looked so happy. We all sat down at the table and she began eating some of the breakfast I'd made. Florence was doing her own little thing while she ate.

"Erin?"

"Sup?" She laughed.

"Are you happy?"

"Yes I'm very happy indeed actually. I've got my perfect husband and daughter. What else do I need?" She smiled.

"I'm not sure. Because I know you wanted a big family but right now this is scary because I'm not sure your actually happy." I sighed.

"Well how about we don't talk about not being able to have children when we have other things to focus on right now. Such as our wonderful beautiful family sitting here. Our perfect friends and loving people surrounding us. We are happy. That's all that matters."

"Do you think you'll be ready for work again?" I smiled, I reached out and held her hand gently. She nodded and took another bite of her food.

"I think so yeah. I mean it should be good. Like I guess I think it'll be okay for me to return." She laughed. "I'm sure I'll be okay. If it's okay with you I'm going to meet Kelly this afternoon and we're going to go sort through some different stuff." She smiled.

"Okay hunni. That's fine. Taking Florence?" I smiled.

"Yeah is that okay? I thought you could do some of the decorating you've been trying to work on?"

"That would be lovely Erin." I kissed her head gently before clearing up the table and beginning to find my wallpaper and decorating tools. "I'm going to get my stuff sorted and then you go whenever you want too." I smiled.

**

I picked up Florence and took her upstairs. I laid her in the snu and on the bed so she could take a little nap. Then I went into the bathroom and got myself ready, had a wash and got everything done so I was ready. I put my hair up and went back over to the bed and I sat on the edge of it and rung Kelly.

"Hello?" He said very chirpy.

"Hey you. How are you this fine morning?"

"I'm very good thank you. How are you?"

"I'm great thank you.." I laughed.

"Wonderful news. Is there any chance you can meet me any earlier?" He laughed.

"Yeah when?"

"Now maybe? I'll come pick you up."

"Sure." Then he hung up and straight after the doorbell went. I laughed and Jay opened it, I stood at the top of the stairs and smiled at Kelly. "Give me 2 minutes to get ready." I got changed into some jeans and a nice blouse I used to wear when I was pregnant. Then I picked up Florence and went downstairs. Jay took her and laid her in the buggy so she didn't wake up. I put some shoes on, kissed Jay, took the buggy and went out with Kelly. He linked arms with me and smiled.

"Where we heading then?" He smiled.

"Let's go to Jersey Park and get coffee." I smiled.

"Okie dokie." He laughed. He kept hold of my arms as we headed down the street towards the main bit of town.

**

I got her seated at the table in the corner, under the trees. Florence still asleep in the buggy. I bought the 2 hot drinks before heading back over to her and getting things sorted.

"1 chai latte, with mocha chocolate, caramel - salted and a drop of cinnamon." I smiled handing her the cup.

"You know me too well." She laughed.

"So we're here today so I can talk to you about something." I smiled.

"You sound like your talking at a funeral?" She tried not to laugh.

"Erin this is serious. Not gonna lie. I love you and all but I have to do this okay." I smiled.

"Okay what are you going to say?"

"Erin we both have hard jobs but listen to me carefully. Boden told us earlier that we have to have someone who can be there in the state of a emergency so Erin I want you to be the person there for me. When you can will you come and sign on the work at the firehouse please. I need you to sign the work to say if I get injured, your the one who comes to the hospital and your in charge of all choices, so you decide if I have surgery and what happens. Okay?" I smiled.

"Are you sure about this Kelly? Why not pick your dad? Or Gabby? Well no Stella? Stella should be the one you pick?" She smiled.

"I want you to do this Erin. Your the one there for me. You are the one I need here. You and Jay are like a family to me okay? So I'm sorry if this is a lot to deal with." I sighed.

"Can we go to the firehouse now? So I can sign the paperwork for you?" She smiled.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." She smiled.

*

We took a slow walk to the firehouse, it was a bit quiet and a bit awkward but it was because Erin was clearly thinking. She had her stressed out thinking face on.

"You don't have to do this." I smiled.

"I want to sweet." She hugged me quickly. We went in side the firehouse and she pushed the buggy in and hugged the few people she was friends with. I smiled and we sat down next to the table and she smiled when I put the paperwork down. She grabbed a pen, had a read and then she signed on the dotted line.

"I'm here for you." She smiled.

"Thank you so much Erin." I smiled. I leant over and hugged her so tightly. She put the pen down and stood up.

"I think I'm going to head home. I'm tired and I have to get ready for work." She kissed my cheek gently and it made me feel warm inside. I loved her I really did. I could keep myself denial but I knew. I watched her with a smile as she pushed the buggy out the building, turning to me and smiling 1 final time.