Mixed Signals.

48.

"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday Dear Florence. Happy Birthday to you." We all sang as Florence sat up next to Erin. I looked at Erin and she wasn't holding her, she wasn't touching her and she wasn't even singing. She wasn't even smiling. She was pale, tired, puffy eyed and tearful. She was able to wear her own clothes now so she was wearing PJ's and socks but she was still sore and struggling to do much at all alone really. Still in HDICU unit as well. The hospital was getting rebuilt and was in a stable condition now. Things were getting better. Apart from Erin. She was getting worse and it was worrying me. Physically she was getting there slowly. Mentally and emotionally it was like she was dying. I was drained and I wasn't sure what else I could do to keep myself sane. I was worried and fed up of not being able to do anything anymore. Hank picked up Florence for me and took her out the room with everybody else as Connor come back in.

"Can I talk to Erin alone please?" He smiled.

"Oh yeah Of course?" I nodded before leaving and standing outside the door.

**

"How are you feeling?" Connor smiled.

"Yeah fine. I'm tired."

"Think you can walk to the lab for me? We want to take some blood tests?" He laughed.

"Why? You do them here normally. Why have I got to go out?"

"Because I want to get you out of this room. You've stayed in here for the whole 6 days since the explosion." He put his hand out and I just sighed and looked away. "Erin don't be stubborn."

"Fine. Let's go." I sighed. I got off the bed slowly myself. I was in a lot of pain, and I felt uncomfortable but I managed to get down and I just stood there.

"Take the frame and then we'll go." He smiled again. I took hold of the zimmer frame that old people normally have and began my slow limp out the room and down the long hallway. We got through the red doors and everyone stood up. Jay stood up with Florence on his hip and smiled.

*

I felt wonderful seeing her up and out of bed. She hadn't left her room the whole time, she was using a walking frame but she stopped and just looked at me. Connor stood next to her watching her.

"How are you feeling?" I smiled. She went to open her mouth but stopped and she nodded at Connor and they carried on past us. That burst my bubble completely. I thought she was going to talk to me and come and hug me and tell me she was okay but no she carried on as normal and didn't even bother to do anything. I just sat back down feeling a bit worried and a little upset.

*

I wanted to talk to Jay. Of course I did but I felt like I'd let him down. We made it to the lab and he smiled as I sat in the armchair.

"You alright?" He smiled.

"Worried. I keep thinking." I sighed, he set himself up and began taking the blood.

"About?"

"I'm such a let down to Jay. I haven't been able to deal with everything. So can't I have kids at all? I can't have another child?"

"Right no. Now is a good time to discuss things. You possibly could have another child but it's a really low possibility that you can get pregnant. But it's about a 7% chance you could. Also we don't recommend it, normally because if you were to get pregnant it's a high chance you would lose the baby because of the trauma. We can do repair surgery but it will take time and cause more damage. Now what we can do is send you in for a small surgery see how it goes and check how you deal with it and depending on that we'll see if you want anymore. Okay?" He smiled again.