Why me? | 1D & 5SOS |

Chapter 18

"I-"

Before he could go anywhere with that sentence the doctor walked in writing on a clipboard not even looking up at us.

"Mr.Horan it seems you are recovering quickly, so you should be able to go home tomorrow"

He said looking up at us with a warm smile.

"Thanks doctor"

Niall replied sinking into the bed more not looking at me.

Was he upset that he's going home? What did he have to tell me? Ugh, too many things going on right now!

The doctor nodded his head before making his way to the door. he turned around looking at me a few feet away from the door,

"Visiting hours are over in about 20 minutes so I'm sorry but you'll have to leave him to rest then"

I nodded thanking the doctor again and took a seat beside Niall's hospital bed as the doctor left.

"Do you want to see someone else? I know that Harry and Liam are outside and they probably called everyone else so they might be here?"

I asked not looking at him while biting me lip, a habit I have when I'm nervous, but what was I nervous about? it's just Niall.

"No!"

He said a little too quickly,

"I mean amm no it's o-ok you can stay..i-if you want?"

He said more like a question.

"Are you sure? Im not really great company.."

I said not taking my eyes off the floor,

"I'm positive, and your great company"

I finally looked up at him and found him looking at me with a small smile.

"O-ok....so amm how've ya been?"

I asked awkwardly.

"Good actually, you?"

He responded

"I'm fine"

I said looking at the floor again. there was an awkward silance for a few minutes before Niall decided to speak up,

"Er...im sorry"

He said with a pause looking at his hands that lay on his lap.

"For what?"

I asked confused. why would he be sorry?, what did he- wait now I know,

"I'm sorry for everything, for leaving you and not contacting you"

I huffed in response, he isn't seriously going to think that I'm gonna forgive him for just forgetting about me, we have been friends forever and he just decided to abandon me.

"Ya right"

I said under my breath not sure if he had heard it.

He just sighed signalling that he did hear me, but I don't care,

"I really am sorry..i have a good explanation but I know you probably won't believe me, but if you don't you can even ask the guys if it's true because they were there with me"

I just sighed still looking at the white spotless floor.

"Go on"

I said urging him in the tell me this big explanation, that I know I won't believe,

"Just promise me that you'll wait until I'm finished to say anything or ask questions?"

He asked, I only nodded in response

He sighed running his hands through his fluffy blonde quiff that was now lying flat on his head nearly covering his eyes,

"Ok so we were talking to simon about our careers and how big we are going to get, and all the media and how they are gonna make up lies and all the fans and stuff"

He said than with a short pause, I nodded wanting him to continue,

"Well Simon said that one of the the many things that come with being famous is.. hate... like the stuff that put me in this bed today...he also said that our family and friends are most likely going to get it too..so I thought"

He said looking at me,

"I thought that if I ignored you, like lost contact you- you wouldn't get hate and everything would be ok... Bu-but it wasn't, you hated me, and still do and that kills me to know that my best friend hates me because all I wanted to do is protect her....im so sorry that I have been a jerk and I hate myself for it...and your most likely not going to believe this but it's true, so true, I understand if you never want to see or talk to me again but I just want you to know that i-I'm so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you"

He finished putting his head in his hands. I looked up at him with teary eyes as I heard a small muffled whimper coming from him.

I stood up from the uncomfortable chair and slowly sat at the edge of the bed,

"Ni?"

"I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry"

I heard him repeat into his hands not answering me,

"Ni?"

I said a little more sternly and louder. He slowly looked up at me with red puffy eyes from crying.

I felt really bad, It sounded like it was the truth,

"Ni... please don't cry, I believe you, I do, it's just... I don't think I could trust you again, you really hurt me.."

I said looking at his sad face as a few tears made their way down my cheek. Niall sat up and rubbed his thumb smoothly over my damp cheek and looked into my eyes,

"I know.. I know I hurt you, it hurt me too, and I'm sorry... but will you let me try and gain your trust again? Please?"

He said still with his hand on my cheek, looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Ok"

I simply answered finally breaking the staring compitition we were having and sitting back down.

Niall sat back into the bed and smiled,

"I love you"

He said looking at me with those bright blue eyes. we always used to say this when we were younger... well up until he left, we are like brother and sister so this only means family love of course.

"Love you too Ni"