Medley

57: LET'S MAKE LOVE NOT WAR.

           

Our way up two flights of stairs and through partially dark hallways, is filled with small talk that leads us to start planning for our meet in London two weeks from now.

What began as a normal conversation in which our goal was to settle dates and times like we always do, escalates into a more heated discussion when Harry, as usual, wants me to give in to his demands.

"Harry, I'm not going to fly there a week earlier to be locked up in hotel rooms all over England. There's no point if you'll be busy most of the day, every day."

"But at least we'll see each other sooner. We'll have late nights and early mornings to spend together and then you can hang around backstage the days I've got shows. Isn't that good enough in exchange for one less week of waiting?"

"It is. If I had nothing else to do, I'd go! But I have work I've been neglecting that needs my attention, and if I don't get it done then I won't be able to even do London at all. Plus, what would I do all day there without you? Play tourist?"

"Yes, anything! I just want you there with me. Please?!"

Low blow.

"Did you also forget that your family is going to some of those shows? Which means you'll be busy during your time off, too. Just enjoy your time with them, if I go you won't see them as much."

"Even better, you can meet my mum and Gemma and hang out with them while I'm busy."

"Har, I am not meeting your family."

I'm not ready for that yet, is he serious?

"Why not?" To my surprise, he looks a bit offended.

"Because! It's too soon to involve our families into this. And even if we did, you can't have your mom and sister serve as tour guides or force them to be my companions when you don't even know if they'll like me to begin with. I won't let you impose my presence on them like that."

"They will love you."

Is that really all he picked up from everything that I've said?

"That's not the point."

My hand untangles itself from around his waist and his arm to aid my words with gestures in hopes that'll make me look more confident in my arguments.

"Then what is the point?"

Tension fueled by frustration is slowly rising and our tones are getting higher with each phrase. When we reach the bedroom door Harry puts distance between us by releasing my waist from his hold.

"The point is you're being selfish. You're only thinking of you and not really considering what it'll mean for me. I have a job too, you know? Maybe not as important or relevant as yours, but puts a roof over my head and I need to take care of it!"

Harry has to understand he can't expect me to drop everything and run after him whenever he wants me to.

"Ugh! I'm not trying to diminish your job, Em! I just want to be with you!"

His hands are thrown in the air like they're an extension of his words.
And my heart aches a little.

"I want to be with you, too. But I don't ask you to cancel shows or postpone your commitments so you can come see me, do I?"

Inadvertently, I had been slowly taking steps away from him and now my back is against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. I let it slide against it, all the way down until I'm sitting on the floor with my legs stretched.