Medley

35: MY FATHER'S DAUGHTER.

"I was daddy's little girl, yes. And although we had our differences and disagreements before that, our relationship started to really suffer when my mom got sick."

That was the event that changed EVERYTHING for all of us.

"The first big argument we ever had was over my disillusionment with religion. I was raised Catholic with my dad being the strongest influence, but as I grew up I began to question my beliefs and came to the decision that the idea of God wasn't for me. So, since I was attending a private Catholic school, I asked my parents to let me switch to a local public high school. To my dad that was a low blow, he thought I conflicted with my beliefs because my mom had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer, but that wasn't it. That was part of a process that culminated with my mom's diagnosis being the last straw."

I pause to take a deep breath. Harry uses this opportunity to command me to sit next to him.

"Did they let you?"

"Of course not! My mother would've, but my dad freaked out about it and made it about himself, saying I was just challenging him like I always did.
This wasn't like the stupid arguments about my swimming training that we always had. This was me telling him I disagreed with the biggest truth in his life: his faith."

Harry's eyes never leave mine. Never met someone who made me feel like every single word I say matters.

"Normally I would've fought until I won, then he would pretend to be mad at me for a day or two until my mom would convince him to let me do what I thought was right for me and he'd give in. But not this time. He was too affected by the news about my mom and became progressively more and more strict. When I talked to my mother about it she asked me not to fight him, not when life as we knew it was about to transform. So I didn't. I was a junior in high school so she convinced me to make an effort and stay till graduation. I had all of my friends there, it wasn't hard to do."

He takes my arm and traces the letters of the tattoo in my wrist, I can't help but notice the cross necklace he always wears and wonder what he might be thinking since clearly religion is something important to him. We should probably cover that topic. For some people those things are deal breakers.

"So, you sacrificed and gave up what you wanted for your mom?"

Harry is the first person to ever look at it that way. Everyone thinks I just gave up because my father was too firm with me for the first time in my life and I didn't have the courage to challenge him further. But that's not true. I gave up because my mother wasn't in a state to be fighting by my side, and the strain that being divided between my dad and I would put on her, wasn't worth it. I was not going to make my mom worry unnecessarily because of me. That's why I surrendered. For her.

"I wouldn't go to the extent of calling it a sacrifice, but yes, I did it for her. You're the only one to see it like that."

I'm on the verge of crying but the brush of his fingertips against my arm comforts me and prevents me from breaking down.

"Maybe I just get you."

Maybe he does.

"So... yeah, that was only the beginning of our downfall."

He mimics looking at a watch that isn't there.

"I don't have anything else to do today. Continue."

"Fine." I lower my head and plant a small kiss on his lips. I can't believe he isn't tired of the sound of my voice yet, I know I am.

"As my mom's health deteriorated, so did my relationship with my dad. We were bumping heads over every little thing, but never in front of her, we were at least considerate enough to leave her out of it, but I'm sure she could tell. That's what angers me the most, that she probably knew."