Medley

5: FIX YOU.

I'm struggling to keep my eyes pointed straight at the exquisite musical performance taking place right in front of me. The handsome, dimpled man sitting next to me is quite distracting.

Using all the strength I have in me to stay focused on the show, I concentrate on the melody and relax. I've been singing every word without even realizing it until it's too late to stop, and when the song ends I feel so embarrassed for doing that in front of someone who actually sings for a living!

The music slows down but doesn't stop, it just transforms into another song: Fix You. This one takes up a special place in my heart, I've identified with it at different circumstances in my life and almost always gets me to the point of tears.

Tonight is not the exception. It's even more special because it's live. By the last verse of the song two tears are sliding down my cheeks. A pair of deep green eyes observe with intensity, the shadow of a smile still lurking on his face when I turn to him while I wipe the tears with my hands.

All three of us get on our feet and applaud when the song ends. Harry whistles so close to my ear I jump automatically, causing both of us to burst out laughing.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you deaf!" He apologizes while tugging a string of hair behind my ear. I flinch at the touch of his fingers. That's been my natural reaction at all types of contact for some time now.

I try giving him a smile that says both 'it's okay' and 'I'm sorry'. The message gets across, I'm assured by the gentle smile he offers in return.

"When you try your best
But you don't succeed
When you get what you want
But not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming
Down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?"

These lyrics are the story of my life.

"That song really moves you." Harry says while sitting back down on the bench and gesturing for me to do the same.

"Is that a question or..." I'm not sure where he's going with this remark.

"It's an observation." The band is speaking to the audience at the moment so it makes it possible for us to talk.

"Yes, it does." I concede. "Every time."

"This song is about fixing someone, not in the sense of changing them but rather curing them, putting them back together after they've been broken. So... is it you that needs fixing or are you trying to fix someone?"

The depth of this very personal question in such early stages of the conversation shows me he's not the type of guy that would ever resort to the weather to get a girl talking.

I kind of like that.

I'm still taken aback by his ability to make a conversation out of almost nothing at all.

"Me, I guess. But I'm working on fixing myself." I reply honestly.

"That's the right way to do it."

He seems very pleased with my answer. And even though the show carried on and we're practically screaming at each other over the music, I decide the man at my side holds more interest to me than any band in the world.

Not because his lips hypnotize me when he talks, not only because this might become a memorable anecdote I get to keep but because it may be the only time in our lives we cross paths. The odds indicate I should seize the moment.

We continue rambling on about other Coldplay songs and he looks straight into my eyes at all times, making the conversation ten times more intense. I could be talking about what I had for lunch and I would still feel as intimidated as I do now.

Poor Jasmine is swaying on her feet and singing quietly by herself. I'm the worst friend in the whole universe! I look up at her and she winks at me, beaming. I think she's more excited for me than I am myself. I'm convinced I won the best friend lottery with her.

The band has moved on to playing more cheerful songs now, but neither Harry nor I stand up.

"...So basically, what you're saying is that whoever Shiver was written about didn't deserve it?" Harry questions with a shocked expression as we've been discussing song lyrics for the past twenty minutes.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. It sounds like she's just playing with him. She made him change for her and then she ignores him, that's not right."

"You've just pissed on the whole romanticism of yet another song! I had never met a woman so inclined on ruining romance!" Harry comments on my analysis of the past few songs we've covered, each one presented an opportunity for me to criticize at least one of the characters in the narrative.

"Well, now you have." My response causes him to giggle and I'm sure it could be the loveliest sound I ever hear, but it gets drowned in the music and the sweet expression on his face is all I'm left with.

We stand up and rejoin Jasmine for the encore presentation. Kai is still nowhere in sight.

For the last three songs we all dance, sing and jump as if the world might end tomorrow and this is our last chance at having fun.

Seeing Harry be one of us, the audience, is really something to experience. I bet he doesn't get many chances to be a normal guy who goes to concerts and cheers on his favorite bands like we do. His life must be so exciting and so complicated at the same time!

Thinking about this makes me wish I could know him more. I barely know anything but I, like most people, have a concept in my mind of who I think he is, I can't imagine how great it would be to actually know the person behind the celebrity.

There's a possibility for disappointment in that discovery too, but I'd sure like to find out.

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FIX YOU - Coldplay.