Medley

32: WHEN WE WERE YOUNG.

Walking through the corridors backstage brings back memories of the day I met Harry, and I feel just as nervous now as I did when he invited me for a cup of coffee at his dressing room.

No one notices me by William's side, everyone running up and down the halls is on a mission. We walk past a room with double doors that are wide open and I see Harry and his bandmates taking pictures with fans. A Meet & Greet, I assume.

But I am taken to a room a couple of doors down, an empty office with an empty desk and a chair.

William pulls the chair out for me but I politely refuse it. Speaking in his usual soft tone, he assures me he'll be right outside should I need anything and that Harry will be here momentarily.

He no longer intimidates me the way he did the first time we met since he's treating me more kindly and less coldly than that day.

My eyes search the room for an alternate way out, but there's none. The door is my only evacuation route. I didn't think I would need one, but the prickling sensation at the pit of my stomach suggests I might.

Being hidden in this room bothers me more than it should, because I'm obviously being kept here so no one can see me near Harry.

I understand, I do. It's just that I would've preferred to go straight to my assigned seat and meet him afterwards if I knew this was the way I would get to see him now.

But my thoughts are interrupted by the screeching sound of the door being opened.

"Emi! You're here!"

This seems to be his greeting every time we meet. One look at his face is all it takes to get me to forget every silly little worry running through my head just seconds ago.

"I am!" The distance from the door to where I'm standing is maybe five or six steps. He gets to me in less than three.

Concerned as I was, my only wish was for this moment to not be awkward. And it's not. It's more than I could ask for and better than the hundred scenarios I played in my mind these past days when he'd been acting so aloof.

With his arms stretched out, Harry pretty much smashes into me, holds me so tight there's no room for me to breathe, and welcomes me with a kiss that turns my whole body into jelly.

"Tuesday could not come fast enough!" He rests his forehead on mine and loosens his grip on my waist.

I'm speechless, wondering why I feel like he has needed me, like he's looking to be saved from something I'm not aware of, but that only I  can rescue him from. How much more disconcerting can he get?

"It's only been three days since you last saw me, Harry."

"I think your count is off. That had to have been at least a week." The somber aura around him when he held me and kissed me is now dissipating and his dimples are in full display as his smile returns.

"But we're here now."

Harry on stage is something else.

He's power, he's fire, he's King of everything. His voice is a melody that both soothes and electrifies you. His dance moves are at times silly and bizarre but straight up sensual all of the time.

I don't think in my life I'll see someone with more magnetism than him. Every soul in this place is hypnotized by him. Thousands of eyes follow his every move. And even though there's three other men sharing the stage with him, there's something about Harry that monopolizes people's attention.

There's an 'it' factor he possesses that draws you in. But maybe I'm biased.

Adele could have been thinking about Harry when she wrote these words, for all we know...

"Everybody loves the things you do
From the way you talk
To the way you move

Everybody here is watching you
'Cause you feel like home
You're like a dream come true

(...)

You look like a movie
You sound like a song"

From the gate to my right emerges William after the show is over and he spots me right away. People around me are too disperse in the aftermath of the concert to notice William opening the barrier for me to cross to his side and walk back into the tunnel with him.

We practically run through the chaos of people and equipment making a maze out of the hallways until we reach an internal parking lot where the black SUV from before awaits with a door open and Harry in the back seat.

"Welcome aboard." Harry pats the seat next to him while William climbs in the passenger seat and five seconds later we're on the move.

Keeping his distance, Harry apologizes for not having time to change out of his sweaty clothes but I'm actually grateful for it, I don't know how uncomfortable it would feel for either of us to act in any way but 'just friendly' in front of William and the driver.

I've never seen anybody be as happy as he seems to be in this very moment. He's still high on the music, high from the adrenaline rush.

His excitement clear in the loudness of his voice as he tells me about the concert from his point of view: the faces he remembers, the range of emotions he went through, the songs he enjoyed performing the most, how nervous he was before coming on stage and how real the post-concert blues are.

When we arrive at the back entrance of the hotel, Harry and William go inside first. William unloads my suitcase from the trunk and carries it with him. I'm told the room number and to wait at least ten minutes before going up after them.

Once on the elevator I can't help but feel embarrassed, like we're sneaking around, like I'm having an affair with a married man and have to avoid leaving any evidence of my presence behind.
It's stupid, I'm stupid, I know.

This is for our own good.

In spite of my attempts to hide that unjustified feeling, I guess it still shows on my face when I knock on the door and William opens, because he looks at me with eyes full of pity.

"I'm so sorry about that." He gets it. I feel validated somehow.

"It's okay, I understand." I do. I just need to get used to it.

"I'll be two doors down if you need me." William lets me in and leaves.

I've decided I really like him.

This suite is smaller than the ones from the other hotels but equally elegant, it makes me feel like I should be in a silk dress and high heels right now instead of these dark blue jeans and knit top.

The door to the bathroom is ajar and I can see steam coming out. It gives me an idea.
I just need to work up the courage to execute it.

Having heard the room door open and close, Harry assumes I'm here.

"Emi, is that you? I'll be out in a minute" He yells from the shower.

I peek my head inside the bathroom to reply "no hurry" and when I notice through the shower screen that he has his back to the door and can't see me, I leave my shoes at the door and tiptoe my way in.

Silently, I take off every piece of clothing until I have nothing on but an ounce of makeup and half a dozen puffs of perfume.

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WHEN WE WERE YOUNG - Adele.