Medley

22: TAKE MY BREATH AWAY.

Don't ask me to describe the bedroom. I don't remember what color the curtains are, I don't recall if the floor is hardwood or carpet, I have no idea how many paintings are hanging from the walls or even less what is painted on them. The world stops rotating as we walk into that room and nothing else exists but him and me.

We stand in front of the bed, Harry takes my hand in his and kisses it gently. It's funny that I'm so nervous when just twelve hours ago we were in this same situation. Maybe it's the intimacy of this setting, or the fact that we don't have to rush, or the knowledge that last night was amazing and today can only be better. But the combination of those three things allows me to find a determination I'm not sure where has come from.

I'm going to make the best out of my time with Harry.

With my hand still in his he uses it to pull me closer until our foreheads touch, leads my hand around his waist and leaves it resting there while he cups my face with both of his hands and angles it up so I'm looking at him.

"God, you're beautiful!" His voice is so low it's practically an echo.

And like an echo, I hear the words repeat in my head over and over until there's nothing to hear but the sound of our heavy breathing from a kiss so passionate I could faint from lack of air.

We venture into a frenzy of curious hands that want to explore and conquer. His index fingers outline the shape of my hips, then my waist, my ribs while pulling my blouse all the way until it goes over my head and falls on the ground.

Harry bends down to remove his socks without taking his gaze off from my face. But before he gets back up, he picks me off the floor and lets me fall on my back on top of the bed. Supporting himself on one hand he leans down and kisses me briefly but heatedly, leaving me craving more.

After pushing his hair back, with his mouth open he brushes his lips across my jaw moving slowly up my cheek to my forehead and descending to my nose, but he stops when he reaches my mouth again. I tilt my head up to kiss him but he pulls away with a mischievous smile on his face that only makes me want to kiss him more. As soon as I give up on it, he gets closer again and brushes his lips against mine without actually kissing them. The teasing is torture since he does this not only once but three times before I decide I've had enough.

In a move that catches him off guard I clutch his shoulders and push him off me and onto the mattress so that now is him laying on his back with me on top, my knees on each side of his hips. I can feel the stiffness inside his pants and that drives me insane!

But it's payback time.

I begin with little kisses that delineate the fern leaves tattooed below his waist line, moving slowly up to plant wet kisses around his belly button, then spending some time outlining the big inked butterfly on his stomach. In the process, he lifts his hands a couple of times to try to touch my arms, or hold my waist, or rest them on my back but I don't let him. I kiss his chest, his shoulders, his neck, his chin and when I get to his mouth I brush my lips against his but don't kiss him. We both smile as Harry realizes this is my revenge and he uses all of his strength to pull himself up, high enough to reach my face and kiss me, but when our mouths are a fraction of an inch away I climb off of him and off the bed.

Harry sits up on his elbows and I use my knees to make him open his legs so I can stand between them. I stoop down and kiss him slowly, but he's rushing, I can tell he's done playing and the serious, dark expression beginning to cover his face is the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

My hands take a trip from his shoulders down his chest, my fingers trace the shape of his abs and land at the edge of his pants to quickly unbutton and unzip them.

Pulling from the holes of its legs the pants come off as he lets out a sigh of, I assume, relief since his erection is finally free from imprisonment. I don't get much of a chance to take in this picture in front of me because he yanks my arm causing me to fall on top of him.

His kisses are what heaven must feel like.

He tugs at my bottom lip and I feel like I'm an ice cube melting in his fire.

"No more games." Harry declares by breaking off our kiss and turning me over on my back.

In the blink of an eye his hands are pulling at the waist of my leggings, his fingers shortly find the edge of my panties and with a lustful gaze he adds:

"Might as well." And he hooks his fingers on both garments and rolls them down hastily but leaving a damp trail with his lips all the way down to my toes.

He lets them drop on the floor but bends down to pick up his pants that were scattered somewhere near with the rest of our clothes. Reaching for one of the back pockets he takes out a little shiny square I recognize immediately. Point to Styles for being well prepared.

The perfect song for this moment comes courtesy of Berlin.

"Watching every motion
In my foolish lover's game
On this endless ocean
Finally lovers know no shame
Turning and returning
To some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion
As you turn around and say

Take my breath away, take my breath away

Watching I keep waiting
Still anticipating love
Never hesitating to become the fated ones

(...)

Through the hourglass I saw you
In time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed I called you
And turned to hear you say
If only for today, I am unafraid

Take my breath away, take my breath away

Watching every motion
In this foolish lover's game
Haunted by the notion somewhere
There's a love in flames"

I'm lying on the bed with nothing but my bra on and I wonder how some people do this on a regular basis, jumping from bed to bed with a strange face every other night.

We become so vulnerable when the clothes come off! They're like a shield, and once removed we are exposed to an infinite list of possibilities: we can get hurt, used, abused, we can be numb to all sensation or we can be affected and changed forever by every single touch, we can discover things about ourselves we didn't know, we can feel pleasure beyond words, we can love like never before and like never again.

It's a total gamble.

I'm not sure which of all the possibilities I will get out of this, all I'm sure about as Harry stands for a minute just examining my body up and down is that I feel safe and respected. And that all the pleasure and all the joy we take with us from this will be a cherished memory tomorrow and I am okay with it.

I am not just letting go of my inhibitions right now, I'm symbolically breaking the chains that held me back from enjoying life for far too long.

Today I am free and I am his.

It's a very good day.

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TAKE MY BREATH AWAY - Berlin.