Love or Fame?

Chapter 115

@ least 8!

"Man, I am too hype right now," Spin said as he rested his head back on the couch. "I know. I am too." Just then, the bell rang. Spin and I both raise our heads from the couch and looked in the direction of the door. "You want me to get that," he asked. "Um, no I got it." "Imma help you up tho," he said standing in front of me with his hands extended. "You're the best, you know that," I said as I took his hands. I know. Now hurry back cuz I'm about to put this movie in. "Okay, okay, I'm going. Pick a good one though!" Well, I headed to the door and you already know I was waddling like a penguin again. After about a minute, I finally made my way to the door. "Ughh I need you to get ouuuut," I mumbled as I rubbed my stomach. I looked to see who was at the door and when I saw him, I don't know what came over me. I got so happy when I saw his face even thought it hasn't been long since I've seen him. It was like...I wanted him here. I needed him here. Then I looked down at my stomach. "Or maybe it's you that needs him," I said to my son. The father of my son was standing outside looking great like always. The effect that seeing him had on me was just...indescribable. But, why? After the breakup, seeing him never ha this great affect on me. What is this? Why do I feel something now? Maybe it's just the hormones. They've been going crazy lately. Anyway, I opened the door and he immediately looked at me and smiled. Well damn. That smile made me feel even weirder. I actually had butterflies in my stomach. It's either the baby/hormones, or maybe Haven was right. Maybe I am falling for him all over again. "Hey you," was all he had to say to make my smile get bigger. "Heyyy." I stepped aside so he could come in, & once he did, he tried to hug me. It wasn't as easy as it used to be, but he was still able to give me - us, a warm hug. "Whoa, either Spin's been here long enough and you want me to get rid of him now, orrr," he smiled big before saying the next part. "Or what," I asked him as I shut the door. "Or someone missed me," he said. I laughed and said "boy, ain't nobody missed you. I can't just be happy to see my friend?" He jerked his head back and laughed. "Okay, so it's like that? You just...happy to see me? You ain't even miss me?" I shook my head no. "Nope!" All he did was nod. "Okay then. I'll go with it. We both know you lyin. But I'll roll with it," he said. "Oh, one more thing. We're not friends," he said. I just gasped. "We're not," I asked acting like I was hurt by his words. He shook his head. "M-mm we're best friends," he said as he took my hands. We stood there staring into each other's eyes and that lasted for a few seconds and ended when he winked and kissed my cheek. "C'mon," he said as he put his arm around my shoulders. "Let get you off your feet." As we turned to walk away, we were a bit shocked when we saw Spin standing there watching us. "Aye what up Spin?" He just took a sip of his drink and shook his head. "Damn. Look @ y'all." Diggy and I looked at each other, then back at Spin. "Y'all to cute, y'all too cute," he said heading back to the living room. We looked at each other again, chuckled, then headed to the living room too. When we finally got there, Diggy helped me sit and he even put my feet up on the footrest in front of the couch. "You good," he asked. I smiled and nodded. "You want me to give you another foot massage," he asked again. I shook my head. "No, I'm good. Thanks." He smiled, kissed my head, and sat next to me in the couch. Spin was sitting in the couch next to the one we were sitting in, watching us...again.

* Spin's P.O.V*
When I heard my boy's voice, I got up and headed to the door. Then, I saw him and Lexi having a moment. They're just so perfect together. They need to get together again A$AP no Rocky. They tryna get a nigga in tears right now. After walking back into the living room, they followed and the way he was with her, the way she was, Bey and Jay, no lie. After she turned down his foot massage, he sat beside her and put his arm around her. They're already like a couple but they just don't kiss. That would've made the moment better. They claim that they're "best friends," but I know Diggy wants more. And even though she won't admit it, I know Lexi does too. She noticed I was watching, and he noticed too. This is just the perfect picture man. "So...why y'all not together," I asked. Lexi looked away and Diggy looked at her, then back at me. "Things have been better between us. We're not arguing anymore." He paused. "I want her to be happy and she seems even happier now than when she was with me. I'll always be here for her no matter what and we're connected because of this baby and that gives me a reason to still be here because if it wasn't for the baby, I wouldn't even have the opportunity to be here with her." When he said that, she looked up at him and he asked "would I?" She stared at him for a few seconds, then looked down. "...no. Maybe not," she replied. "Yeah. Well, I just want her to be happy," he said again. "Even if...even if I was with someone else," she asked looking up at him again. He paused and looked away. "Who's someone else," he asked. "...don't worry about that right now. Just ans-" Then he looked at her again. "what do you mean don't worry about that right now? That person's gonna be around my baby. I need to know." "Diggy, you know you weren't asking just for the baby. And I'm just asking a question," she said. He looked away again and took a deep breath. "Well, I wouldn't be okay with that. & not just because of the baby, but because I still love you. That won't ever change. I'm still in love with you. So, no, I wouldn't want you with anyone else. But, if they make you happy then...I'm not gonna...*signs* I can't tell you what to do. I know that. But um, if this *air quotes* someone is Haven -" "what makes you think it's Haven?" He just chuckled. "C'mon Lexi, I've seen the way y'all act around each other. He's always here and I see the way he looks at you when-" "Diggy, you're never around when Haven's here," she interrupted. "No, when I do get here, he leaves. But not before flirting with you. Y'all smile at each other and he just winks. I never say anything b/c we did agree to move on but Lexi, it kills me. It kills me to see that you're moving on with someone else. That sounds selfish but I'm just being honest." She sighed and said "Haven and I aren't together, Diggy." He nodded. "Okay, but if he's who you were talking about...as long as you're happy, he makes you smile, then..." She just looked away and slowly nodded. Now it's just awkward in here. She got quiet and and he looked a bit upset but be tried to changed the subject. "So, what are we watching," he asked. "Oh, um...Grudge Match," I replied. He nodded and she remained silent. It was like she was deep in thought. I looked away from her, to the TV and hit play. As soon a it started, she got up. "Excuse me" she said heading upstairs. When she got up there and shut the door, I turned the TV down. "I made things awkward by asking that," I said to Diggy. "Nah man I should thank you. Now I know she wants to be with Haven." He was obviously upset about that. He rested his head back on the couch and closed his eyes that were watery. "I don't know what to do, Spin. I wanna stop her, but at the same time, I don't. She deserves to be happy & if Haven makes her happy then, I don't wanna stand in the way of her happiness but, I want her." He raised his head and looked at me. "I want her so bad. I just wanna b able to hold her tight and kiss her again. I miss her soo much. I was such an ass to her and she deserves better, I know, but..." He leaned forward in the chair to put his face in his hands. "I just...I don't know what to do," he said. "Bruh, you gotta get ya girl. Now, you get yourself together while I go check on her okay? I feel like she's upset and it's because of my question. I'll be back." I got up and headed upstairs. I knocked on the door a few times, but got no answer. "Lexi?" I slowly opened the door and walked in. She was standing there on the balcony just staring at the beautiful view of New York. I went out there and joined her. As soon as I got there, I noticed that she wiped her eyes. She's been crying. "Hey," I said as I rubbed her back. "Don't cry. Why are you crying," I asked. Ri told me that her hormones have been going crazy lately and I didn't know it was just that or because of my question...or both. She took a deep breath and wiped her tears again before replying. "Because I love him," she said. "...because you love him? Then why aren't you with him," I asked. "Because I'm scared, Spin." "You? Scared? But you're not scared of anything," I said. "We're all scared of something, Spin." "But you're the bravest and toughest person I know. You're even bad pregnant," I said. She smiled and flipped her hair. "I know right?" Be both laughed. "There's that smile," I said with a chuckle. "Now, what are you scared of," I asked. "I'm scared of getting hurt again. That's the main reason I don't wanna be with Haven. I don't wanna go through the same thing again. With Diggy, it was like a cycle, you know? I was always getting hurt, I was always crying. I got fed up with it. He'd always apologize but then do it again. & it wasn't like small mistakes. They were things that made me feel like he'd rip my heart out and just cut it up into pieces. I don't wanna go through that again," she said as she buried her face in her hands. "Can I ask you something about Haven," I asked. She looked over at me and nodded. "Do you not wanna be with him just because you're scared? Or is it because you still have feelings for Diggy?" She looked down and took a few seconds. "Both," she finally said. "Well, what do you want? Who do you want?" She sighed and replied "I don't even know, Spin. I don't even know." "You and Diggy need to talk about this. You want me to get him or do you need some time alone?" "I just need some time alone." I nodded and turned to walk away. "Oh shit!" Diggy was standing there listening. "Nigga what you tryna do? Give me a heart attack?! Stop being so damn sneaky! Damn!" Lexi started laughing at my reaction and turned around to where Diggy was. "What you laughin at," I asked. "All I saw was your short self fly off the ground," she said dying of laughter. "Ha ha ha very funny, Lexi." I looked back at Diggy. "So you were listening to the whole thing," I asked. He just nodded. He looked over at Lexi who went back to staring at the city and he walked over to her. "...because you're scared," he said as he looked down at the city. "Lexi, I know I've hurt you numerous times. I'm always apologizing and I always mess up again. I feel like a broken record. I keep repeating the same thing over and over. I truly am sorry. I know you don't wanna hear that. It means nothing to you because I just hurt you again after I apologize. We can work-" "stop. Just stop please." "Listen to me. We can work on this, try again. Just let me prove to you that I can do better. Give me another ch-" "Diggy, I've given you a million chances to prove that to me. You've always just let me down time after time. We can't keep doing this to each other. You know, the break up, make up crap we always do. And it's always for the same BS. Trust. It's just not there," she said. "Maybe the trust isn't there but the love is. You said it yourself, you still love me. We still love each other. Just give me another chance, please?" She sighed. "Just give you another chance to hurt me, Diggy? I think I'll pass." "Lexi," he said after a sigh. She walked away and he followed. "So you're just gonna go out with Haven while you still love me? How's that fair to anyone. Especially to you," he asked. "OMG Diggy no one said I was going out with Haven!" "Okay, but you're thinking about it!" They both sighed. "Can we not do this? We haven't argued in months and we were doing just fine. Let's just-" "we're not arguing, we're just talking," he said. She stared at him for a few seconds then turned to walk out. "Lexi, wait. I have another question." She stopped walking, but she didn't turn around to look at him. "If you weren't scared, would you have given me another chance? Or would you be with him?" She shook her head and continued walking. He ran in front of her. "Answer the question," he said. "...I don't know." After saying that, she walked passed him. He sat on the bed & I stepped in. "Give her time. You gotta show her that you can change. Show her you're willing to make this work. Telling her isn't gonna make her see that. So don't tell her, show her." He nodded and got up. We went downstairs to find Lexi sitting in the couch. He walked over to her and kneeled in front of her. "I love you. Forever & always." Then he rubbed her stomach and said "I love you both." He stood up, kissed her head and said "imma get going now. Call me if you need anything, okay?" She nodded & he kissed her head again, told her he loves her, said bye to me, and walked out. Something has to be done.