Chapter Thirty- Bi-polar Emotions and Trippy Dreams

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Chapter Thirty- Bi-polar Emotions and Trippy Dreams

Kendall's POV

Niall was so warm, so inviting. He was what I needed right now. Niall was the one that I could always count on. He would always be there for me when I needed someone. The tears seemed as if they wouldn't stop flowing, but I didn't want them to. They somehow made me feel better. I don't know.

"Kendall it'll be okay." Niall said, while rubbing soothing circles on my back. His touch felt so comforting. I sniffed before I pushed myself up off of him so I could look at him.

He stared back up at me. His gaze was even soothing, it was a caring and concerned one. Somehow I felt myself leaning in to what I don't know. I just needed something to stop my heart from aching. In a second my lips had connected with his, but as soon as they did he gently pushed me back.

A sob racked through me once again, though this one hurt more."No one wants me." My voice sounded broken and pathetic. This person was no longer me.

"Kendall." Niall wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me back into him."You're confused right now, and as your friend I wouldn't want to take advantage of you. Not at one of your weakest moments." Niall told me.

Just does words broke me even more. I felt sick to my stomach. What about Louis? Suddenly anger coursed through my body, and I found myself cursing Louis. I hated him. Then again I didn't. I kissed Niall how could I do that to the both of them. Screw Louis he didn't care. So why should I?

"I'm not confused." I snapped back angrily as I furiously whipped at my eyes.

He sighed,"Kendall you don't like me."

"I do."

He chuckled lightly, a forced smile coming to his face."You don't like me like you like Louis." He responds. I turn around and refuse to look at him.

"Screw Louis." I snapped back harshly.

"You don't mean that Kendall." Niall told me, as I turned to look at him.

"How do you know what I mean. In fact screw you too, and get out of my room." I screamed, while throwing my pillows at him. He stood up slowly then started walking towards the door. I stopped my attack with the pillows and just watched.

"Wait." I cried out, gripping a pillow to my chest."please don't leave me Niall." My voice broke at the end. I felt as if I were bi-polar.

He ran his hand over his face before coming back to the bed. Then he sat back down on the bed and laid down when I ran into his arms. I laid my head on his chest just so I could hear his heartbeat. A heartbeat meant he was still alive and he was still here.

"I won't leave you Kendall." He whispered soothingly into my ear. My grip on his shirt tightened slightly when he told me this. Eventually he would leave me too. Though I didn't want to think about that right now. Foster had just left me. How I wish I could go back and listen to him.

Maybe spend a little more time with him. He was the grandfather that I never had, possibly the only thing close to a father. Now he was gone, I wouldn't hear his laugh or smell the the tobacco he used to chew. Definitely wouldn't get to tell him that chewing tobacco was bad for him.

"Niall." I whispered hopping he'd hear me.

"Yeah Kendall?" He responds, while stroking my hair. The bun had came out sometime when I was crying. Though I really didn't care now that it was probably a matted tangled mess.

"You think he's happy where he's at?" This questioned even was painful to ask.

"He's not in pain anymore. So he must be happy because now he's at peace." He tells me. The tears had stopped flowing but it still felt like I was crying. Their was a slight throbbing in my head, and my eyes felt heavy. Though I wasn't sleepy.

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