Dangerous | b.w.s

87

Pattering and pittering tickles my ears as I sit on the floor of my living room and stare out of the glass doors to the outside garden. I wiggle my toes as the irritating tingling floods and fills my left foot from my awkward position on the floor. My chest rises and falls as I take in a deep breath, the fresh oxygen traveling into my lungs smoothly.

I scoot closer to the glass doors and, with a dull thud, rest my head against the cold glass. Clouds of condensation form before me as my warm breath mixes with the cold from the outside. Sometimes I like to watch the rain. I enjoy the dark grey of the swirling clouds and the low rumble that gives warning of a forthcoming storm. Then comes the drips and the drops and then the pitters and the patters, and if you're lucky, the hammering and the drumming.

Rain always seems to come at the most convenient of times. When your heart is pounding and your head is screaming and you can't hear yourself think or even breathe. But the rain comes and the rumbling and the hammering drowns the loudness of your body and you feel like there is finally silence.

This is one of those times.

Until the loudness outside is interrupted by the loudness inside, and the obnoxious sound of my phone rings, snapping me out of the peace and dragging the thoughts back into my mind.

"Hello?" My voice hoarse and reserved, I answer the phone without looking at the screen.

"Hey." A soft voice comes from the other end of the line. "What's wrong? You sound upset?"

"I'm fine." I lie, not for attention or for comfort, but I know that I deal best with things by myself. I have had experience, after all.

"You really are an awful liar, I'm coming over." Brad insists and my heart jumps.

"Please don't." I squeak.

"I don't remember asking." He attempts to lighten the mood but I can't find it in myself to crack a smile. I hear a rustling and sound of movement from the other end of the line.

"Brad." I sigh. "I'm alright, really."

"See you in five minutes." He hangs up the phone and I groan.

It's not that I don't want to be around him, it's just that I prefer to be alone on days like these, and I know that Brad will make me even more emotional than I already am, which is not something I enjoy. I rest my head back against the glass but quickly decide that the sound isn't as loud as before. So I slide the glass doors open and let the loud sound flood my ears, along with the familiar scent of dampness.

"Come on, squirt!" The warm voice shouts over to me with a hearty laugh, white wisps following his words in the space in front of him.

"Hey!" I scold him playfully as my tiny legs struggle and stumble to catch up to him. "I'm only the third smallest in my class! Jessica is way shorter than me!" I defend myself from the nickname I've had since I can remember and claim to hate, but deep down, I don't mind it.

"Sorry." He laughs with kind blue eyes as I finally reach him and he picks me up by my waist with a grunt, throwing me over his shoulder easily.

I burst into a fit of giggles and screams as he almost drops me but catches me at the last moment, before he walks over to my favourite part of the park beside our house. Rather smoothly, he heaves me back round and places my small feet onto the bumpy ground made of what seems like bits of cut up trees.

Whilst adjusting my grey woollen hat on my head, I grin a gap-toothed grin at him which makes him smile fondly at me in the way that makes me feel warm and safe.

"Come on, little one." He picks me up again and puts my legs through the two holes of the seat, only releasing me when I'm sitting safely in the small seat and bouncing as much as I can with excitement.