Help Me Pick Up The Pieces {Completed} (GirlXGirl) [TeacherXStudent]

Chapter 48

Chapter 48

Mia's POV

I tried my best not to listen while Avery talked to Adrianna, but I couldn't help myself, and as a result I have a million different thoughts and feelings running through me right now.

I have so many questions I want to ask Avery, that I wouldn't know where to start. But I know that I can't actually ask the majority of them, and some of them I don't think I would like to know the answer to.

One question I absolutely know I shouldn't ask, but a part of me desperately wants to know is why she seemed to hesitate when Adrianna asked her if she loved me. I want to think that the reason is because she actually does, but I can't know for sure unless I ask or she tells me. I'm pretty sure she won't tell me, and I really don't think I should ask. If I did and she told me that she does love me, then I would know that when this ends I would only be even more hurt, but despite my better instincts there is still a small part of me that kind of wants to know.

I look at Avery as she peacefully lays her head on my shoulder, and I know that in a perfect world it would be absolutely amazing to find out that this woman loves me and we could actually stay together. I'm still holding out hope that it will happen, but I know better than to get my hopes up too high, because I know there is a better chance that it won't. It will never happen unless Avery changes her mind, and I don't see that happening.

"So I'm more than just a casual fuck?" I ask the second biggest question I have, thinking I can handle the answer to this one. While I may not have her forever, at least I can say that I have her for right now. And if what I heard her tell Adrianna about this is correct, then I have her more than I originally thought.

She picks her head up off my shoulder and pulls away from me slightly, and looks into my eyes. "I thought that was obvious?" she says with a smile on her face, and I smile back. It seems that whenever I see her smile it instantly makes me want to smile as well; when she's happy I'm happy.

I shrug my shoulders as I look into those beautiful green eyes of hers that I absolutely love. "Maybe so, but one can't be absolutely sure unless they are told directly."

"Well, you are definitely a lot more than that," she says and I'm a little taken aback. I was expecting a yes, but not that.

"A lot more, huh?"

"Yes! So much more," she says with a nod of her head and I give her a small smile.

"Good!" I say before leaning in to kiss her. I grab the sides of her face as I straddle her lap, and she grabs my hips, pulling me into her further as I slowly kiss her with everything I have in me.

The answer she gave me makes me both really happy, but also a little sad. There was just something in the way she said it that just made me feel like she was truly confessing her feelings for me without actually saying so. It just gave me the impression that everything I hoped she would feel for me might actually be true.

I no longer have a doubt in my mind that she considers this to be something more than just a causal relationship. I now know that even if she doesn't love me, she at least has very strong feelings for me, and with these realizations suddenly everything with us seems very serious.

It's one thing to just assume all this, but it's a completely different thing to actually know. Knowing makes it so much more real. It's not just a hope or wishful thinking anymore, it's no longer a fantasy, it's actually real and that scares the shit out of me.

I feel like there is no longer any room to deny that we actually have something legitimate going on here, we may not have a label on it, but I definitely feel like we are actually in a relationship now. Knowing that she feels this way about me makes me want to be with her so much more. I find myself hoping even more that this will last, I now desperately want this to last. I'm already so much deeper in love with her than I ever thought I could be, and I now know that losing her is going to hurt me more than I ever could imagine.