Gender Swap: A Spideypool Story

We're Going To....

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

"Mmmmm, shuddup!"

I roll over and slam my hand on my alarm clock. When I get back to the position I was just in, I notice how empty the bed is.

"Wade?" I call out for him. When I got no response, I got up and started walking to the bathroom. I did my business then carried on my search for everyone.

I trotted through the house until I heard the giggles of my kids in the bathroom down the hall. I went in and they were all playing in the big tub but Wade wasn't in there.

"Where's daddy, guys?" I asked.

"Daddy had to go pee-pee. He said he'd be right back." One of the kids piped up.

"But I was just in our bathr-" That's when it hit me where Wade had gone. "He's peeing outside, isn't he?"

"Daddy said you'd get mad if you found out. He he likes the feeling of the air on his pee-pee." Dustin laughed.

"I'll be right back." I stomped away for the glass sliding doors in the living room.

I looked out and saw Wade watering my flower garden.

"Wade!" I opened the door and put my hands on my hips. He looked over his shoulder at me, waiting for me to yell at him again.

"Kids told you, didn't they?"

"What did I tell you about peeing outside? Especially in my garden! Steve planted that and it looks so nice. Dammit, Wade!"

"What?! I had to take a leak! You were in our bathroom and I wasn't just gonna whip it out to take a piss in front of the kids while they got their bath; that'd scar them for life! A quick glance is different then Daddy pullin his 'big pee-pee' out to take a piss right beside them. It'd be a whole nother story if there was a shower curtain but there isn't since there's no shower in that one."

I just stood there with a pissed off gaze as he told his story. When he turned and tucked it away, his met mine.

"Whydyou still look pissed? Would you've rather me show the kids what their Daddy's packin?"

"No, I'm pissed because there's more than 2 bathrooms in that house, Wade." I looked up at him with my arms crossed.

"Dammit! I always forget that other bathroom!" He said to himself.

I shook my head and went back inside. He followed me into the bathroom with the kids playing. We go in to only find the two girls.

"Where's your brother?" I asked.

"He had to pee." Wade laughed as he washed his hands. I looked over and shot him fire through my eyes.

"What?" He was still giggling to himself.

"Stay here, watch the other two while I find the one that takes after you too much." I made him sit on the toilet lid and begun another search.

My first thought was to check any plant around the house, that's usually where he goes if the bathroom's taken. I found him in the corner of the living room, peeing in the only fake plant in the whole house.

Of course.

I went over to gently scold him for it then found myself stepping in a warm puddle.

Dammit.

"Dustin, what are you doing?" I rush to get paper towels to clean the mess.

"I needed to pee." He sweetly said as he continued his stream.