Red Strings of Fate (Haunted Series 2)

Strings 44: The New Life

After my theraphy session, naka abang na si James sa labas ng bahay at parang magnet akong hinila sa mga braso niya. Ibinaon ko ang aking pisngi sa kanyang collarbone habang humihinga ng malalim.

I love his warmth and scent, which fills my nostrils when I push against him. I admired his strong body, which supported me as I relaxed and leaned into him in exhaustion. My anchor... It was comparable to leaning back against a tree and enjoying the fresh air. 

"You did good today." Bulong niya sa tenga ko.

I adored him in every way, and what I admired best about him was his devotion and his willingness to go above and beyond for me.

"You did good today too." Naramdaman ko ang pagbuhat niya sa'kin at di ko mapigilang tumawa ng malakas, "Sir, our neighbors are probably watching."

"Let them watch. Mga marites." Sabi niya habang buhat ako papasok.

Nang matutulog na kami, hindi ko mapigilang mag isip habang nakabalot sa amin ang makapal na kumot. The heater cranked up to high temperature because of the upcoming winter weather.

Nanatili ako sa ibabaw niya, at sa pagitan ng ingay ng ulan, at ng aming malalim na paghinga, ang kanyang mga kamay ay marahang pabalik balik ang haplos sa aking ulo at likod.

Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit. "Do you miss your family?"

"Honey, they just visited last week."

"That doesn't mean you don't miss them."

"I do... but we all have different lives now. That's inevitable." Hinalikan niya ang pisngi ko.

"Do you want to go back?" Tinanong ko siya noon, bakit hindi ginawa ng pamilya niya ang ginawa namin. Bakit hindi na lang sila umalis at manirahan sa ibang lugar, malayo sa kaguluhan?

He told me that they didn't want to leave their life. Their life's work, their friends, their family. They didn't want to leave and live in fear. They didn't want to leave the people they were responsible for.

Hindi sila ganon.

"Why are you asking that? Scarlet, hindi ako babalik mag-isa kahit ano pang sabihin mo. Where you go, I go."

Maraming nangyari sa loob ng limang taon. Engaged na si Jamie at Gabriel, si Evan at Rossana ay nabuntis, ang kanyang lola at lolo ay nag-renew ng kanilang mga vows... at ang tanging nagawa lang namin ay video call sa lahat ng okasyon. Marami siyang na-miss dahil ayaw niya akong iwan mag-isa.

Pagkatapos ay bumisita ang kanyang mga kapatid noong nakaraang linggo.

All of them have changed so much. They've grown so much.

I love what we built over here, but I'm ashamed of myself because I hid behind something, someone who would protect me from anything and everything that would harm me.

I took advantage of that comfort and never even considered how that privilege damaged my core.

Umupo ako at napansin niya agad ang aking mukha.

"Hope..." Hinawakan niya ang bewang ko at pinisil. Hindi mahigpit, sapat lang para maramdaman ko ang init niya. "Are you okay?"

"Andaming nangyari... and that messed me up."

Tinitigan ko siya.

"Nabuhay ako sa takot... dahil doon nasanay akong tumakbo sa lahat. I'm so thankful na sinamahan mo rin ako sa pagtakbo dahil hindi pa ako handang huminto at harapin ang mga humahabol sa'kin... Kahit hindi mo gawain 'yun."

"Of course, I'll always be with you."

Marahan ko siyang hinalikan. "I had to figure out how to be better and cope. And ikaw na nagsabi na I am getting better. But I think... I think we wouldn't know that I'm okay, if I'm still away. If I'm hiding dito sa states."

Huminga ako ng malalim, nanginginig. May luha, isang luha ang kumawala. "To do that, we have to go back."

These five years weren't wasted. I learned a lot and gained a lot of experience. I also enjoy how peaceful my life here is. But... It's time for me to face everything and everyone.

"You're not hiding."

Purposely making herself blind just because she's afraid she's seeing too much is bad.

"But I am. Andaming nangyari nung umalis tayo."

"You forget I suggested we leave. For space. To give you—ourselves time to breathe."

Napatango ako, "And I would always be thankful... I'm sorry if processing this took me a long time."

"You've always burned slowly, and that's okay. Life isn't exactly a race. Don't apologize for healing the way that you heal."

"Yeah... thank you. Thank you for being with me, baby."

Umangat ang mga daliri niya para haplusin ang buhok ko. "I'll go wherever you go, no matter how dark the path."

Napangiti ako at suminghot, "Let's go back."

"Are you sure?"

Tumango ako. "Let's go home."

( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)