Red Strings of Fate (Haunted Series 2)

Strings 44: The New Life

After five years, hindi nagbabago ang passion namin para sa isa't-isa.

I kiss him, rubbing my hands on his back, caressing his bullet wound scars, reminding myself that even after all these years, I still have him, he has me, and we love each other. We're happy. We're safe. "I love you."

"I love you."

I laugh, "I'm so happy."

Hinalikan niya ang ilong ko, "Happy people are good together, baby."

"No. I'm so happy natulungan ko si Rossana magtago ng sikreto."

Tumawa siya, "Whatever you say."

Araw araw kaming magkasama. I love it but it's also nice when my mama, my friends, or his siblings come to visit once a year. Mas umiingay ang bahay at alam kong mas sumasaya si TJ pag nakikita niya ang kanyang mga kapatid.

I think the hardest part of living away from the Philippines is when monumental things happen, and we're not there.

"Hindi kayo uuwi?"

Narinig kong naguusap si Jamie at James sa loob ng bahay, habang lahat kami ay nag aayos ng barbecue sa labas. Sumandal ako sa dingding nang mapagtantong umiinit ang usapan ng dalawa.

"It's my wedding, hindi pwedeng wala ka."

"I know, we'll be there."

"But you just told me na wala kayong plano umuwi." Bumuntong hininga si Jamie. "You can't hide here forever, twin."

"We're not hiding."

"Really?" Nagkaroon ng matagal na katahimikan at alam kong nagsusukatan ng tingin ang kambal. "Purposely making herself blind just because she's afraid she's seeing too much is bad."

"I thought you'd understand why we left... why she needs this."

"I do. I really really do get it, but the family needs you."

"She's my family too Jay—"

"—I didn't mean it that way, and you know it."

There was a moment of silence before he said, "I'll make sure we make it to your wedding."

"This isn't about my wedding anymore! Andaming nangyari..." Napabuntong-hininga siya ng malakas. "I'm happy for you both. Genuinely. But Kuya Jupiter and I can't do this by ourselves. We need your help."

Hanggang ngayon hinahanap pa rin nila ang mga natitirang miyembro ng Itasaki.

"I'm sorry." Naglabas ng malalim na hininga si James. "She's getting better Jamie, we just need more time."

Am I getting better?

I think I am. Unang taon namin dito, nag undergo agad ako ng PTSD therapy. Isa ito sa mga dahilan kung bakit bumalik ako sa paggawa ng mga damit—ng suits. To bring my confidence back. My self identity.

Limang taon at hindi ako tumigil sa therapy.

I wanted to be better. I wanted to live. Although I do love the life we built over here, I want to go back home.

Hindi ako umiinom ng gamot but I have sessions once a month. It was a slow, painful process that made me realize healing isn't linear. Sometimes I don't, and then sometimes I do get triggered by gunshots or even just shattering glasses.

Kaya alam ko, na kahit malayo ako sa Pilipinas—even if we bury our stories and live on, we cannot run from the memories of the past. 

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