Chapter 36. Déjà Vu

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A/N: Yes, I know I skipped Congratulations. Only because I already have a chapter with that name though. Also, remember to follow me on nsta. My user name is @_the_most_epic_fangirl_ :)

Chapter 36. Déjà Vu

~Kellin~

I watched as Summer took Destery up to their room in the hotel for some "alone time". I only felt a pang of jealously from it. I couldn't help it when I grabbed Alissa's hand to drag her to our room. I had to get revenge, even if Summer would never know we had sex. 

Alissa and I haven't had sex before. We wanted to wait for the right moment. Or maybe I didn't want to have sex (with her) at all. 

I shook as I opened the door. When I turned to see Alissa's smirk I felt sick. "Kellin," she whispered quietly. "This is so unlike you to want to… do this." I nodded in understanding. I pulled her to the bed as I though of Summer. Summer's body, her grinned, her moans… it was the only way I could do this, because it's really hard to make love to someone as revenge. 

Everything is just so complicated. 

I sat on the end of the bed as Alissa teasingly stripped for me. I swallowed air and soon enough she was fully naked and I was fully clothes. She moved the straddle me, placing my hands on her lower back. She kissed my jaw and mumbled, "You okay?" 

"Yeah," I replied as I wrapped my mind around everything. So here Alissa and I were, getting ready to have sex. Alissa wants to because she wants me, and I want to as revenge for Summer sleeping with her own boyfriend. And then there's the perfect couple, probably banging as we speak. I huffed. I couldn't have sex with Alissa. It wouldn't feel right. But I have too… unless I don't think about it. Unless I think about someone else…

I bit my lip and looked in the eyes of my girlfriend. She had this look of fake innocence that I both despised and found cute. I removed the top portion of my clothes, with Alissa's help, and tossed it some other direction and. I then crawled to the top of the bed and allowed her to removed my bottom half. 

"Oh Kellin," she hissed the moment I was standing out and proud. She licked her lips while I thought of one time I had Summer on her knees…

"Are you sure you want this?" she checked to make sure one last time. 

I thought for a moment. Yes. Why not? Alissa is attractive, energetic, and my girlfriend. I'm hard. Now is the perfect time to do what you're supposed to do in a relationship. I mean, you aren't supposed to think about your ex wife when having sex with your current girlfriend, but if I'm even going to have sex with her than I better keep thinking about Summer. How ironic is it that to get revenge on Summer for having sex I have to think about her so I could have sex? "I'm sure," I answered. 

"Good." She crawled to position herself to slide down onto me. After a second I was finally inside of her. 

I groaned as I tried to fit as much of myself in her as I could, thrusting up to meet her hips as she bounced. Her moaned reminded me of Summer's, giving me déjà vu. I thought about our honeymoon, when Sum rode me after coming back from a very delicious dinner. 

I moaned when Alissa started gyrating her hips in slow circles. It reminded me of when Summer ground into me as we secretly fucked in my tour bus bunk. That was such an erotic moment, especially because we Werner supposed to be having sex with everyone else on the bus. 

I closed my eyes, thinking of Summer's pretty face. Maybe I am over her and I'm just being dramatic. Maybe there is no longer any bit of a spark between us. Or maybe I'm not fully over her and it wasn't fair that Destery had her. It definitely wasn't fair what I was doing to Alissa. I opened my eyes, deciding that if we were going to finish then I couldn't look at her face, as horrible as that sounds. I lifted her off of me, placed her on her stomach under my body, and ordered her to get on her hands and knees. She had only gotten on her knees and held herself up by her elbows when I started thrusting into her from behind her tired body. In this position, her on all fours and me on my knees behind her, I couldn't see her face. I thought of Summer once again as I squeezed Alissa's ass and moved inside of her. 

"So wet," I hissed, going faster and hitting harder. Summer's- I mean Alissa's moans grew louder. 

She turned her head back the slightest, but it was too much because I could see some of her face. I growled and gripped her lower back while moving. I slammed into her g-spot, making her turn back to the headboard and cry out. As she tightened around me I knew she couldn't take it anymore. "Kellin!" gasped Alissa. She released around me, screaming profanities. Just like how Summer used to climax… 

My thrusts became sloppy and soon enough I pulled out, turned her over, stroked myself once or twice, and climaxed on her stomach and breasts. 

As I laid down next to her I sighed because a) I didn't do that for revenge, I did it to pretend it was what I actually wanted, b) I just used my girlfriend, and c) because I still might possibly have feelings for Summer. 

Fucking shit. 

~Summer~

Destery and I sat on the end of our hotel room bed. The silence in the room was deafeningly awkward. I hated it. I wanted to move, but I couldn't. I wanted to say something, but my lips were frozen together. 

Destery cleared his throat and moved his hand onto mine. His thumb gently rubbed the back of my hand. I looked at his face and say a small smile. "Summer…"

I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. It felt so weird. We've kissed plenty of times, but kissing him tonight… I felt as if I was committing a crime. I didn't rob a bank, I haven't murdered anyone, and I didn't steal a car. I only kissed my boyfriend. That's not a crime. When I pulled away I felt relieved. It was like I was cheating on someone with my own boyfriend. Like I was cheating on Kellin. 

"Summer," Destery whispered quietly. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to. I mean, I doubt we're ready to have sex yet. I think we should wait." 

I nodded. "Okay. You wanna go back down to the reception hall?" I didn't want to be up here anyway. It was stupid of me to think that having sex with Des would take my mind off of what happened with Kellin. Maybe when we go back to the party I should apologize. 

Destery and I returned to the party and I immediately searched for Kellin. He wasn't on the dance floor, he wasn't at the bar, and he wasn't at any tables. I walked over to my mom, who was holding the twins and laughing with a man who I think is named Brian. He's one of Blu's family friends, I believe. I smiled down at my pretty girls. They are so adorable. "Mom, have you seen Kellin?" I asked. 

She shook her head no. "I think I saw him with Jesse about thirty minutes ago, but that's the only time I can think of that's close to know. He's not over by Jess now, but you should go ask him if he knows where Kell went."

"Thanks Mom." I leaned down to press kisses onto Della's and Allix's foreheads. They each giggled, bringing a bright smile to their grandmother's face. I walked to Jesse, who was with his wife. "Jess, have you seen Kellin?" I asked. 

"Yeah," he said over the music that was playing. I stole a quick glance to the dance floor. Des, CC, Andy, Blu, and a girl I didn't know were dancing together in a group when everyone else only had one dance partner. "Kellin and Alissa went up to their room." Jesse's voice brought me back to him. I ignored the dance floor and focused on the rapid pounding in my chest. Kellin and Alissa went to their room before the reception was over? What if they were having- 

Stop! 

I shouldn't care if he's doing it with his girlfriend. They're in a relationship, they can do whatever they want. I shouldn't be jealous considering Kellin and I are divorced. I shouldn't mind if Kellin is treating her the way he used to treat me; him fucking her like his life depended on it, grunts of approval escaping his lips. I should stop thinking now. 

I bit my lip and sighed. I swear, I'm positive I'm bipolar. I can no longer deal with being perfectly happy one moment then being angry and jealous the next. Now I'm sad that they're alone together and I know I shouldn't be. "Thank you," I told Jesse before going over to the bar. 

I sat down in one of the decorated bar stools and asked the bartender for a shot of whiskey. He looked at me as if I were asking him to murder someone. I simply brushed off the look and took the shot. 

"Summer right?" someone asked from behind me. 

I spun around on the stool to see a girl, around fifteen years old, in black hightop sneakers and a dark blue, strapless dress. Her brunette hair was curled, her makeup was light, and her nails were all black. "That's me." I smiled at the girl. 

"I'm Kalel."

"Kalel?"

She nodded. "Like Ka-lell. Kalel. Like the girl on YouTube," she explained. I had no clue who she was talking about. 

"It's a nice name. Kalel… I like it," I complimented. 

"Thank you. Anyway I was sent by my dad to tell you that your mom and him we're going to go to their hotel rooms, so you need to watch over your kids." Kalel's cheeks turned a light pink color, like she was nervous to tell me I needed to be with my own kids. 

"Okay," is all I said. I stood from my seat and walked back over to the table my mom, Della, Allix, and Brian were at. Kalel followed suit. Brian must be her dad. 

My mom handed me my tired babies and said goodnight. Brian and her left the table, so I was left with my daughters, Kalel, and a boy who looked like her other brother. He looked about nineteen to twenty-one years old. 

I sighed. "Well I'm going to go back up to my room. You know, call it a night. It was cool meeting you Kalel." I stood and walked over to Blu's parents before leaving. I told them to tell Destery I was in our room. 

When I reached our room I wasted no time in putting the girls to bed and going to bed myself. I fell asleep to the sounds of evened breathing, the feel of the itchy hotel blankets, and the thought of Kellin and Alissa. 

A/N: On the side is Kalel's outfit and a Joey Graceffa video. Why is it a Joey Graceffa video and not the sexy song "Déjà Vu" you may ask? Because 1) Joey is fucking amazing, and 2) in the beginning if the video you learn how to say Kalel's name. Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to @hhbvbsws for being awesome, commenting on every chapter, and making me really happy. 

Comment, vote, and follow me please. Only a few more chapters before the end, then it's sequel time! Love you all. 

~Catt

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