Chapter 102: Artie and Shrek

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Chapter 102: Artie and Shrek

"Hot chocolate--!" Donkey sang in Arthur's ear. "—with marshmallows, and cinnamon swirls!"

Arthur woke.

He thought he was dreaming.

Actually, Arthur thought he was caught between a dream and a really painful nightmare. Nothing made sense. Everything was weird. And his chest was freezing. The original cold, clammy feeling had sunk deep inside his core.  His heart felt like a snowball. Arthur was too cold to think of anything but the pain.

Almost.

"Hot cocoa in the morning!" Donkey nuzzled a beer stein over the bed. "And what a BEEEEEEEE-U-TIFUL morning it is!"

Still dazed, Arthur let the stein fall into his hands. His fingers were frosty and he had difficulty gripping the handle, but the heat felt incredible. He was dying to drink the warmth. 

Ignoring the talking donkey (who was still talking), Arthur greedily brought the stein to his lips.

Then he saw the "hot chocolate." The color was correct, but the liquid was goopy – like mud. And instead of "marshmallows with cinnamon swirls," there were three eyeballs. The eyeballs were floating in the goop. One was looking at him.

"Wha--?"

"Donkey! That's Shrek's coffee!" A thickset female ogre with red hair and green skin exchanged the stein for a wooden mug – this time filled with hot chocolate. As she turned, Arthur noticed a tiny crown peaked at the top of her red braid.

"Caffeine and corneas." The female ogre waded through three ogre toddlers. The triplets observed Arthur curiously as their mother passed. "Only way to clear a headache. Donkey! Donkey keep away from him until the ferngullians come! He might be cursed –"

As an afterthought, the female ogre gathered her children. "—we don't want anyone to catch it."

"Oh! Right! Sorry Fiona! Hippity hop!" Donkey smiled toothily at Arthur. "Gotsa go! Please excuuuuuuuusssse me – " 

He bowed. "—your majesty!"

"Oh what a load of – " A male ogre hauled Donkey by the ears. Arthur was a little fuzzy, but he recognized the ogre's accent and (oddly enough) his plaid britches. It was the ogre that had yelled 'What are you doing in my swamp?!' when the fairy-elf-things had tried to save him.

Well, Arthur struggled to remember, At least one of the fairy-elf-things had tried to save him. What was her name? Crystie? Crystal? Crysta – yes it was Crysta! That's right. Crysta was the nice fairy-elf thing. Pips was the unfriendly one.

Unfriendly as the ogre.

"Fergus! Farkle! Felcia!" The ogre shooed the triplets.  "Listen to your mother! Get in your cribs! Donkey, park your hide in the corner —"

The ogre stopped. He glared at Arthur. "What are you staring at?"

Arthur was slacked jawed.  He was very bewildered, so he said something stupid.

"You're green."

The ogre gnashed his teeth. "What?"

Arthur realized what he'd just said.

"I – didn't mean-- " Arthur recoiled into his pillow as the ogre stomped bedside. It was terrifying – even the his shadow was swarthy. "Oh boy."

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