Strings

Honesty

So refresh your memory before you read this chapter. I believe in at least two of my chapters Natalia and Cameron kissed while she was with Nicholas. Just remember that because I don't want anyone saying. "When did that happen?" Although, I guess it's my fault because I didn't make it out to be a critical point in the development of this story. Oh also.. Thanks for holding out this long for a chapter. Love you!!!

Btw, short chapter because I'm going back into classes soon and I've been preparing for that.

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"What's that? Daddy bought you a dog?" I said rubbing Amelia's back. She giggled as she pet the dog. "Don't you think this is something we should've talked together about?" I asked Nicholas as he sat on the floor in front of us with his legs crossed. "I just wanted to make her happy." He said smiling at Amelia.

A dog is something that parents talk about together. We are suppose to decide these things as a unit but he did it out of a kind heart so I guess it's alright. "We need to talk, soon." He said authoritatively. "Okay, we will." I wasn't about to have a conversation in front of our daughter about our relationship. She might be too young to understand but still; our problems are our problems.

Nicholas looked away from me and continued to play with Amelia and the small dog. Not very long after I got her ready for bed and headed towards our bedroom. I walked inside and sat on the bed. Pulling my knees to my chest, I waited for Nicholas to come out of the bathroom.

He walked out and sat on the edge of the bed. Silence was something I've become used to since my life went to hell but now it's killing me. "I regret ever trying anything with you, I regret hurting you and, I regret ever allowing us to be something more than just best friends." Nicholas said out of nowhere.

"But I don't regret ever sleeping with you because if I didn't then the best thing that's ever happened to me wouldn't be sleeping in her crib down the hall."

I thought that was where he was going to stop but no, he was just beginning.

"I know I haven't been a Dad or a husband or a man lately but I made some mistakes Nat, and there's no excuse for them and right now I'm trying to pick up the pieces and be something I didn't get to have when I was growing up. I'm trying to keep you two happy and I'm sorry that I'm failing. If I haven't told you that you're beautiful enough; I'm sorry. If I haven't been there enough; I'm sorry. But you keep threatening me with divorce and you keep running off to your friends or Cameron... If you're going to leave me Natalia than do it because I can't take this anymore." He stood up and turned to look at me.

There were multiple things that came into my mind to say but out of total lack of controlling myself I said something that I shouldn't have. "Cameron and I kissed twice.."

Actually I only kissed him once but allowing him to kiss me was even wrong on my part.

Nicholas looked hurt and clenched his fist. "You know what..that's fair I guess." He said before sitting back down. "But.. do you have feelings for him?" He asked. "I'm not answering that question that's ridic-." I mumbled getting off the bed.

"Just, I'm not asking you as your husband.. I'm asking you as your bestfriend." I looked away from him and shook my head. "The fact that you won't answer my question lets me know that you do have feelings for him." Nicholas said walking over to me.

"Before you are my wife, or the mother of my child, you're my bestfriend.... my only friend and if you're not happy than neither am I." Nicholas said while grabbing my hands. "I don't want to sit here and pretend like we're the perfect family if you're in love with somebody else.." I could just see in his eyes that this was hurting him more than anything else and I wanted nothing more than to tell him that I didn't want to be with Cameron but I just couldn't.

Because we all know that wouldn't be the truth.