Strings

Time To Push

"Just breathe in and breathe out." Nicholas said. Although I believe he was speaking more to himself than he was to me. I'd gotten an epidural and felt better for awhile before my contractions got closer and closer. "I can't do this anymore, I'm done." I said crying. "Woah, I think it's a little to late to back out now talia." He said laughing.

This is not funny, this is not a laughing matter. I've been sitting in this room for about 8 hours now and I can't take this anymore. "Go get my doctor, I'm ready to push now." I said to Nicholas. "Uh no, she said that in ab--." He began. "Go get my fucking doctor Nicholas." I yelled when I couldn't take it anymore.

He jumped up and ran out of the room, returning moments later with my doctor and a nurse. "I'm...ready...to...push." I said panting. She sat down and looked under my dress and bed sheet. "She's fully dilated." She said to the nurse.

Shortly after they'd prepped everything and she finally asked me to push. "Come on sweetheart push." Nicholas encouraged. "We're almost there." He said smiling. His words were sweet but they were the last things I needed to hear right now. "Push harder." He yelled. "How about we switch places and you fucking push?" I yelled. I know that was wrong and totally out of line but it just came out. "Just trying to help." He said while switching the camera to his other hand.

"Give me one more good push, you're doing great. I can see the head." The doctor encouraged. When you're pushing there is a whole bunch of pressure down there, imagine squeezing a watermelon out of your vagina. That should give you an idea. I continued to push for the next 20 minutes.

"I can't push anymore." I cried. This feeling is terrible, it feels horrible. "One more time mama, we're almost done. Just give me one big gigantic last push." She said. I don't wanna do it. "Come on talia, she's almost here." Nicholas said squeezing my hand. Please let this be the last push for real this time. I pushed with everything I had and that's when I heard the most beautiful thing ever. I'd never thought crying could make me feel so happy.

I heard my baby's cry, I mean I know she's crying and all but still that's my baby girl. "Congratulations, it's a beautiful healthy baby girl." they said while sitting her on my stomach. Tears started to fall down my face, not because of the pain anymore but because of my daughter. "She's beautiful." I whispered while holding her in my arms.

This is the only thing that mattered right now, she was the only thing that mattered to me in this world. "Mommy's here, mommy's here." I cooed.