One sick love story

My bucket list

Life, is weird. Life confuses me. Many go through life without actually figuring out what life is. But I have. And I guess I have Cancer to thank for that.
But from now, I am no longer a Cancer patient. I have been completely discharged from hospital, and I refuse to go back. I said my goodbyes to all the nurses, and patients and of course Dr. Kartor. It was sad saying goodbye, but also the bestest thing I have done in over a year and a half. That's how long I've been fighting cancer for. But today it ends. It might still be growing inside me, but that doesn't mean I have to acknowledge it. If I act like a Cancer Patient, then I'm going to be a Cancer patient. So that's why I've decided that no matter how much of a struggle it is. I am being completely detached from the Cancer life. I made them take out my port. And I said goodbye to the tubes and machines and any disgusting sanitation smell you get from the hosptial, and of course the horrible hospitals gowns. I still have to take a few pills each day, but that doesn't matter, the extent of it is gone.

To make the most of everyday here, I want to stop being the Cancer girl. And live a life before all of that started. I want to be a teenager again. A normal 17 year old. That's why me and ben have planned a weekend away together. Nothing fancy, At all, just a few things away from home to get me experiencing some of the small but wonderful things that life Can hold.

Me and Ben are going back to the peer today, were going to go on rides, and eat icecream on the beach, and yes I'm fully aware that it is the 6th of November, and it's going to be freezing. But when you've got just a few weeks to live, feeling the cold isn't really the problem.

So now we're on our way, it's a chilly Saturday morning, we're wrapped up in warm clothes, got our suitcases ready, and we're off to start the crazy weekend.
We're going up to the peer in Ben's car, it's nice to be able to travel somewhere and it be just us two together.
"So you looking forward to today?" Ben's asks.
"Of course, I'm excited for this whole weekend. I've never done anything like this before"
"And that's why we're doing it"
"Yep, I've got nothing to loose. I'm ready to go crazy!"

We finally arrive at the peer, and straight away run towards the fair ground. Literally. I get tired after about 10 seconds of running, so I jump into Ben's back and he happily gives me a piggy back ride. It was great fun, I felt just like I did when I was a kid. When I couldn't care what anybody else thought of me and we just do what we want because it's fun!
So we buy the tickets, and fast track passes for all the queues all day. Money isn't a problem this weekend. My mum and Ben's family have put tougher some money, so we can go and have a great time, care free. Not having to worry about what we're spending and just make the most of the time we're out here.

I choose the first ride, it's a roller coaster. These are always my favourites. Me and Ben get straight on to the ride and sit in the front, where the view is the clearest. As we reach the top, before we go down the first big hill, I take in the picturesque scene surrounding me. The beautiful ocean that is to my right, and the stunning hills surrounding the cliffs next to the beach. Then suddenly, off we go, down the first hill. Me and all the other passengers scream with joy as the exhilaration runs through our bodies, as we speed around the track. Every twist, every turn, each thing is a new bit of excitement.

Ben chose the next ride. It was a ghost train. I've never been much of a fan of these, but because we don't have to queue, I went on anyway.

Ben seemed to enjoy it, it was a bit boring for me. But anything new and different I can do, is something worth while.

We complete every single ride, and we even did a few of them twice!
But now, I can't ignore how I feel, I've done a great job of it so far, but I've now reached my limit. I feel nauseous, and extremely dizzy, but I don't let that get in the way of my fun.