One sick love story

An official goodbye

"We're all gathered here today, to celebrate the life of a beautiful young girl."
I look around me, where about 10 people stand there, with tissues in their hands and tears overflowing their eyes. But only 10.
Because 'all' the people who have 'gathered here today' is not enough people. There should be more.
Her own mother didn't even decide to show up. Because she probably doesn't even know she's gone.

I stand, holding hands with Dr. Kartor, and ben.
Dr. Kartor... Looking the most upset.

Before the ceremony finishes, we each get to spend a few minutes with her. Just talking to her, and giving her an official goodbye.
I couldn't say much. I had already said everything I wanted before she passed.
Plus... I know the truth. Funerals... Aren't for the dead, they're for the living. And yes, that is a quote from 'the fault in our stars' but it kind of got stuck in my head. And it's true.
I tried to keep that in mind when giving her eulogy.
"I know... Sadie only had a short life. But she managed to fit so much into that short life than most of us ever could. Not with how many things she did... But with her smile. Even though she was kidnapped by Cancer, and murdered by Cancer... She... She... Would always remain positive. When I first met her, she was so fragile and so weak, I thought I would have to be the one protecting her... But no. It actually ended up being the other way around. If I needed cheering up, she would just come to my room and make me happy. I was always there for her... But she was also always there for me.
She was the strongest, most intellegent girl I've ever known. And if you knew her as well as I did, you would agree."
The whole audience shakes their heads in agreement. "It's so unfair and wrong... That she had to spend her whole life locked away, isolated from the world, because she was always sick. So that's why I hope, she is now in a happy place, where she'll have a family who loves and cares for her. Not abandons her. And I hope, she's going to a world where Cancer... Doesn't exist.
It may have won the battle this time, but I made a promise to Sadie and to my whole family. I won't let it beat me. I'll stay strong... For Sadie."
"For Sadie" everyone mumbles and claps their hands.

I find the grieving process hard, the only way im able to escape from it, is by escaping reality.
Because my reality sucks. And I don't want to be living in it right now.
It's New Year's Eve and I've got my party tonight.
Ben walks over looking all sloppy and sad "darcy... That was beautiful."
"Yeah yeah, I know... Now let's go get drunk!"