Speak |h.s. a.u.|

Chapter 61

My pinky fingers are about to break off from holding my phone and typing, my heart hurts from this chapter, the new album came out and I'm too afraid to listen to it, and it is 2a.m. You guys better really love this super long chapter and vote and comment. I love you guys.

Harry spent Thursday trying to get rid of his hangover and trying to relieve his thoughts of the worst nightmare he's ever had. He remembered all of the events of last night after thinking about it for a while, laying on his bed and wishing Annabelle were here to keep him company in his new place.

The whole day, Harry couldn't feel more sad than he was. All of the horrible emotions that a person could feel, he felt. Tomorrow would be such a dreadful day, he wasn't ready to face what would happen tomorrow for another year. He had already stocked up on alcohol, knowing it were like a tradition for him, but not a good one. Every year on this day, he would find himself getting so emotional that he would go get drunk, just like he always did when he wanted to forget something. He always got drunk and let himself do whatever he wanted, whether it be fucking a random girl, or letting himself lose his temper on his family for a while. Every year it were different, and he had no idea what would happen tomorrow.

Harry stayed up almost all night, he just couldn't sleep. His memories were drowning him and his tiredness only added to his stress. He was up and at his mother's house by noon, knowing she would need someone there to comfort her today.

"How are you feeling?" Harry asked, hugging his mother.

"I'm good, I'm okay. A bit better than last year. How about you, honey?" Harry took a deep breath.

"I'm fine, I guess. It doesn't matter, mum, I'm a mess." Harry held his mother tighter, seeking comfort in the lady who raised him with so much love.

"It's okay to be a mess sometimes." Anne's quiet voice soothed Harry slightly. "Gemma will be here in an hour after her last class. Do you want to help us fix dinner?" Harry shrugged. "Come on, you've never been this calm in the past years. You've always ended up leaving and not coming home until the next day, why don't you just stay here and help us?" Anne tried to persuade him, but she only made him feel more guilt.

"Mum," Harry sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. "I don't know what's going to happen tonight, okay? I can't promise anything."

"Are you sure?" Anne's face was scared and upset. "I mean, you're grown now, Harry. Can't you control yourself for just one year?" She placed her hands on Harry's broad shoulders. He shook his head, his eyes growing more and more distant as the day went on.

By the time Gemma got home, he had locked himself in his old room upstairs and pulled out the hidden bottles of alcohol he had stashed in is closet. He hadn't opened them yet, it were too early. He had to wait, he had to let himself sulk over his father for just a little bit longer. He had to stay strong for his mother and sister for just a little while longer.

They all ate together, talking about the past. Some of the memories made them laugh, and some of them made them cry.

"Remember that time dad came home from work and he had toilet paper stuck to the back of his pants?" Gemma laughed, as did the rest of them.

"Remember that time we were setting up the Christmas tree," Anne stopped to laugh, "And he tripped over the lights and knocked the whole thing over?" Everyone cackled at the sweet memory, loving the moments they could remember the man they all loved in a good way. Harry stopped laughing, his eyes falling down to his still full plate.

"What are you thinking about, Harry?" Anne asked, noticing his sad eyes. He shook his head, mumbling 'nothing.' "Oh, it's something. Come on, we shared our memories, now share yours." Anne pressed, wanting Harry to get it out of his system.