Habits {Jikook}

CHAPTER 52

💿 Lose You To Love Me - Selena Gomez

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"Jeongguk?"

"Here!"
Jeongguk shouted from the living room when he heard Taehyung calling him. Just then, his best friend crossed the living room, going for the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee.

"How are you?"
he asked softly, eyeing Jeongguk who was looking for something on their TV table. He kept quiet and continued walking back and forth in their living space, carrying things from one place to the other.

It was the death anniversary of his grandfather, November 4th. He never felt like talking, or doing anything at all, when this day came around, used to hiding in his room and stay in bed. But he learned that sleeping all day wouldn't just magically make his grief disappear. So now he usually stuck to cleaning or generally keeping himself busy.

"No answer? Okay, so we're doing really bad this year,"
Taehyung concluded, nodding to himself. He put down his mug and walked towards Jeongguk. Said was currently putting some books into their bookshelf. He was cleaning up their apartment as a distraction.
Since Taehyung didn't want to pressure him, he waited silently until Jeongguk decided to speak up on his own.

"It's," Jeongguk stopped for a second as his voice cracked. He gulped before continuing, "It's hard"
After hearing this, Taehyung closed the gap between them and pulled his best friend into a comforting hug.
"I understand"

When he broke away from the hug, Jeongguk sighed, pulling at his hair. He hesitated before speaking up,
"I feel like everyone got over it yet I'm still crying like a child-"

"Hey," Taehyung cut Jeongguk off in a warning tone,
"You're not a child for feeling like this. We've already made that clear years ago"

Jeongguk sighed.
"I know, I know"

"You're not weak for having feelings. Acknowledge and..., Tae looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"treasure them till my last day"

"Exactly. Now, I need to go find a book at the library. Will you be alright?"

"Yeah, go on. I'm gonna be fine,"
Jeongguk reassured him and even managed to smile a bit. After they bid their goodbye, Jeongguk found himself alone in their living room once again.

"I'm gonna be fine,"
Jeongguk mumbled to himself.

Meanwhile, Jimin was wrapping a bandaid around his hand and securing it on his wrist.
The burn from yesterday wasn't too bad now but he still wanted to avoid any contact with it.

The wound wasn't the most important thing right now. He was actually getting ready to visit Taehyung's and Jeongguk's place. After yesterday's event, he knew he needed to end it between Jeongguk and him since he was already pitiful enough if you asked him. And he was so close to tears, just thinking about it.

He knew Jeongguk would have questions and also he knew he wouldn't be able to answer them but it just had to be done. It wasn't fair to either of them. He just couldn't keep going anymore and Namjoon was right.

It wasn't too late to end it.

So he made his way to their apartment.

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When the doorbell rang, Jeongguk sighed but stood up either way. He was currently having a break, drinking an unhealthy amount of black coffee while watching a kitschy movie to keep his mind off of everything.

However, he didn't even get the chance to start walking to the front door because suddenly none other than Jimin stood in his living room.

"Uhm hey,"
Jimin awkwardly waved his hand as a greeting and tried to fake a smile. They hadn't seen each other in a few days and you could literally see that there was a ton of unresolved tension between them.
He wasn't even sure if Jeongguk had realized his words because he looked so confused and shocked, that he might have missed them.

"How did-"

"Spare key, I know where it is. I just rang the bell to announce my presence,"
the older immediately explained and he showed the shiny key between his index and middle finger. He didn't want him to think he's an intruder.

When the tension in Jeongguk's shoulders visibly disappeared, Jimin exhaled in relief. Maybe this talk wouldn't be too hard after all.

But he actually knew he was just trying to convince himself so he wouldn't tear up.

When Jeongguk tried to step closer, Jimin did a quick hand movement to keep him at bay.

"Oh, no no, you can stay there! I'm gonna head out again quickly anyway. I just wanted to talk to you for a second"

After hearing this Jeongguk stopped dead in his tracks with an understanding nod yet his eyebrows raised and his facial expression looking hurt. he was a bit confused by Jimin's ominous nervousness.

"Alright, fill me in,"
Jeongguk responded when nothing else came from Jimin's side while running his hand through his brown locks. After a few seconds Jimin tried to speak up, fumbling for words at first,
"It's, let's-"

Saying it was harder than he thought it would be.

Suspicion rose on Jeongguk's end as Jimin stopped completely. He then realized something was wrong. Very wrong.
His brows furrowed as he started to worry.
"Jimin, what is going on-"

"Let's stop this"

Jeongguk stopped mid-sentence. Those three words hit him like a train.

"You-
you mean-"

Please don't make me say it again.

Instead of speaking his thoughts, Jimin decided to play it safe. He indifferently elaborated,
"You won't need me anymore now"

"What are you doing,"
Jeongguk asked warily. Jimin was who he actually needed the most. He couldn't believe that Jimin wasn't able to see it. That it wasn't just a casual fuck but a necessity to keep him around.

Jeongguk could stop smoking, yes.

But leaving Jimin? He felt like it was impossible for him to do that.

"You haven't smoked in weeks,"
Jimin tried to explain himself, almost begging for Jeongguk to understand. It was so hard to convince Jeongguk of something he wasn't even convinced of himself.
It wasn't about smoking, both knew that.

"You can't just-"
Jeongguk wanted to cry, pull Jimin closer, and make him look in his eyes, he wanted to scream that he couldn't give two shits about those damn cigarettes or that it was so incredibly unfair to make him fall for him.

Instead, he gulped and nodded calmly, hiding his inner turmoil.
"Okay let's stop"

You can't lose something that wasn't yours to begin with. But why did it feel like he's breaking into pieces?

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Hello my loves,
it's getting dramatic as you can see.
I don't have a lot to say today, just thank you for liking my story <3 !
I purple you <3