Habits {Jikook}

CHAPTER 16

💿 Come In - KAI

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Jimin had managed to avoid Jeongguk for the rest of their stay at the store.
He hated Jeongguk for his perception skills and his annoying attitude.

Once he stepped out of the store with two huge bags he heard the footsteps of the taller boy right behind him. He was stomping his way to Jimin with his chunky boots and another shopping bag until he was right beside him.

Even his footsteps are annoying.

"Park, slow down! We're not running a marathon!" Jeongguk grunted, taking one bag from Jimin.
He sighed out loud and looked up at him desperately,
"Jeon, I'm telling you this now. Please. Go. Away."

"Naw," Jeongguk cooed ironically.
"How nice of you sweetheart! Anyway, tell me about your tattoo-"

"Nope. Not in a million years," Jimin answered coldly and continued with a slight pout,
"Also, I can carry two bags at the same time. Don't act like you're built different, I don't need your help"

In fact, Jeongguk was carrying the two bags with ease which made Jimin even angrier, thinking about kicking him to the ground. Only thinking about it though. Yeah.

"No but for real," Jeongguk started, his tone sounding somehow serious and sincere all of the sudden.

"Look, you're not supposed to know. Hell, nobody's supposed to know!"

"Not even Tae knows?" Jeongguk questioned, his furrowed eyebrows became visible.
He wouldn't say that Jimin was some innocent boy because he knew that was not the case but he never expected the smaller to have something temporarily tattooed on his well-groomed, soft skin.

Jimin hesitantly nodded at Jeongguk's question and let the boy continue, since it was too late anyway.

"Where is it?" the taller casually asked, as if Jimin had talked about this a million times before. But looking at him, he felt extremely nervous. He was kind of panicking and that has never turned out well in the past.

"Hold on, Mister! How come you think I would tell you all of this?" Jimin said and started walking faster until it got too exhausting. The hill kept getting steeper and the sun seemed to burn him even more.

"Well, theoretically I could tell everyone that you have a tattoo, including your grandma-"

"Okay, you're going too far now! You wouldn't do this, I know you,"
Jimin huffed out loud, followed by his famous eye roll. He didn't really consider the meaning of his last words, too immersed in finding the way to the hotel.

I know you.

"You know me? How funny," Jeongguk let out an sarcastic laugh. This whole situation was ridiculous.
Jeongguk felt ridiculous.
Jimin did too.

They went up the street in silence. There was nothing to be said.
They weren't friends.
The only thing that's keeping them from tearing each other apart was Taehyung.
There's no need to talk about intimate topics. Really. Not at all.
So when Jimin decided to speak up, it surprised both of them.

"I was 16," Jimin almost wispered while saying those words out loud. This startled Jeongguk. He didn't expect the smaller to tell him so suddenly.

"I was 16 when I got that tattoo. I obviously did it without my parents knowing. They wouldn't have allowed it. You remember our other cat that had died back then?"

"Bean?" Jeongguk muttered and Jimin nodded slightly before saying,
"His fur was completely white but he had that one black spot on his back right before his tail. It's shape resembled that of a moon.  Therefore, when Bean died, I figured it would be nice to get a tattoo to remember him and keep him close to me"

"Where did you get it?" Jeongguk asked after regaining some of his confidence.
And without thinking, the older reached for the spot where a small moon covered his skin. It wasn't any bigger than two or three centimeters, simple but pretty.
"It's on my lower back but like really low so you can't see it when I'm wearing pants. It's also the same spot where Bean had it so it makes sense,"
Jimin responded with a little smile on his face, feeling nostalgic.

Jeongguk really wanted to see it but he felt like he would be overstepping some boundaries if he asked.

"No offense but I didn't think you'd do anything like getting a tattoo at 16,"
Jeongguk stated in all seriousness. Not because he wanted to mock the other but because he actually meant it.
To him, Jimin didn't seem like someone this spontaneous and rebellious.
But on the other hand, he didn't know the smaller boy.

How would he know?
The last time they've talked without being indirectly forced to was six or seven years ago.

Jimin remained silent, only a low hum left his lips. The silence between them was killing him and when he couldn't bare with it anymore, he spoke quite awkwardly.

"So, why smoking? What's the reason for destroying your body like this?"

"Okay nope. I won't talk with you about this," Jeongguk refused to look at the other but Jimin could clearly see him tense up a bit, twiddling his fingers in a nervous manner.

For Jeongguk, this was a very emotional and serious topic. Now the problem was that Jimin and Jeongguk's conversations were the complete opposite.
Not serious, never deep.
When the two of them talked, they either fought or they were bickering.

"Oh come on, Jeon. I even told you about my tattoo. It can't be more ridiculous or childish than my story,"
the older whined and Jeongguk seriously had to hold back a sarcastic laugh. Because on the one hand he wanted to tell Jimin he was not being childish and that his tattoo held such a precious meaning. He could never say that out loud though.
On the other hand, Jeongguk actually felt like the reason he smoked was even more-

"You remember when Namjoon's and my grandpa died? I fell into a hole back then, couldnt find the way out. Changed my friends, developed bad habits, tried to suppress the feeling of grief."

"I didn't know you felt this way back then-"

"Tae helped me out of that bad environment and made me confront my feelings. I literally tried everything to cope.
Not eating, biting my nails," he paused hesitantly, slowly taking a deep breath,

//  mentions of past self-harm in the next paragraph

"I did try cutting myself once and also burning my skin. Don't tell Tae, he doesn't know.
I tried so many things but realized they weren't for me, only made me feel even worse after I realized what I had done.
So I started smoking because it reminded me of my grandpa. You know, he smoked a lot when he was still alive,"

//

Jeongguk spoke quietly and coldly, leaving a few things out on purpose as it was already a lot to take in. The boy was acting
nonchalantly about it but in reality he felt like throwing up.

"Jeongguk. Why-" Jimin started to say but was cut off by Jeongguk again.

"I knew you wouldn't understand it but it's fine. You're not supposed to anyway"

Jimin couldn't describe what he was feeling in this exact moment. He knew that these were just a few crumbs of the actual story, the tip of the iceberg.
The way the younger portrayed it like it was nothing that bugged him.
It sounded quite serious.

But he didn't have the right to ask further. Hell, they didn't even like each other.

"Oh my god, can you please insult me or something? Your silence is even worse than I had imagined," Jeongguk groaned and simultaneously loosening up the tense mood.

"Didnt you tell me to shut up like 32465 times today?"

"Shut up, Park"

"Look, you did it again!"

Jeongguk had to continuously bite his bottom lip to keep himself from smiling.

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Heyy, I hope this chapter was fine. I'm not fully satisfied with it as it is supposed to express a lot of emotions and I feel like I could've done better. Maybe will rewrite it sometime later.
Love you lots <33