Chapter Nineteen

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Kay guys, this chapter is going to be very intense and sexually explicit. I'm sorry for my readers who've experienced rape or molestation I have no intentions of disrespecting that, but this is something that I have always planned to happen in the story. Thank you all for reading and understanding where I'm coming from as an author.

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Time had stopped along with my own heart. I couldn't move, or even breath in that moment. My thoughts were jumbled, and my legs were like jelly. Fear pierced my soul and panic invaded my mind.

"Hello Laiya," he said keeping his hold on my shoulder. 

"Hello father," I replied glancing around for any sign of the boys.

"It's very early, so I wouldn't count on any of your little friends to be awake. You all sleep in very late." How the fuck does he know that!? "I told you I'd be watching," he answered as if he could hear my thoughts.

"And so you have. What now?" I asked trying to figure out another way to get out of his grasp. I wasn't strong enough to fight him, not after last time. He then grabbed both of my shoulders and started pushing me backwards. I dropped my camera trying to get a hold of him.

"Laiya, quit fighting this," Samuel said forcing me against the side of the bus. He pressed his body against mine as I struggled against him. He started kissing my neck just like the last time. My panic became unbearable and I tried fighting against him, but he punched me in the face.

"NO! I won't go back. I fought for so long, and I'll keep fighting to get away from you!" I screamed attempting to push him off of me and feeling tears prick my eyes. I struggled even harder, but this only caused him to get angrier with me. He pushed me to the ground and straddled my waist. I punched his chest and kicked my legs, but he was a lot heavier than I was. He tied my hands together and put duct tape on my mouth.

"It's inevitable. You're alone. Those guys you think you love and you think they love you. Really? Who would want someone as disgusting and broken as you? You're nothing anymore. You've been nothing for a very long time," he said undoing his pants and forcing my sweatpants down.

My screams were muffled by the duct tape as he forced himself inside of me. I receded inside of my own mind until he was done. I couldn't believe how weak I was. I didn't even stand a chance at getting away. This is what death feels like. 

When he was done, he got off of me and did up his pants. I laid there waiting for death to consume me. Samuel then kneeled down beside me and said "this was fun, wasn't it?"

My tears wouldn't stop falling as he cut my hands loose from the rope. 

"You know if you say something, you get to deal with the consequences which might include killing one of your precious boys you care so much about. Oh, and I'm not taking you away yet, but don't get too comfortable here," he said standing up and then walked off. 

I laid there making sure he left, and then stood up. I felt as if I were on autopilot. I felt nothing, but disgust as I peeled the duct tape off of my mouth and pulled my panties along with my sweatpants back up. I picked up my camera and sat on the ground. I sobbed for hours feeling as if my hatred for myself would never go away. However, knowing the boys would be up soon, I picked myself up and wiped my tears away. 

I walked back in the bus dropping my camera on my bunk. I then grabbed some clothes for the day and hopped in the shower. With the hot water pouring on my body, I scrubbed away all the grime and filth from my body. But it wasn't going away, that feeling of him on top of me, inside of me, it was there. It was always there in my mind and I scrubbed until my skin felt raw. I continued crying in the shower knowing that no one would hear me. After the water started running cold, I turned it off and stepped out. 

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