Picture This [Of Mice & Men Story]

Chapter Nine

Running, that's all I thought about. I was running away from something terrifying, but I wouldn't look back to glance at it. I only knew my instinct and my gut told me to "just keep running." I ran for what seemed like forever when a heard a voice call out to me, "you can't run forever Laiya" and then I was grabbed me from behind. I screamed my lungs out, but there was no one to hear me. A hand soon covered my mouth and then turned me around to face the person I'd been running from for so long.

-----------------------------------------------------∞-----------------------------------------------------

I awoke with a start. I felt someone stir behind me when I realized that I was still in the back lounge. I had fallen asleep and was laying down on the couch. I looked down at my waist and saw a familiar tattooed arm around me.

I decided to try to be stealthy and quiet to get up. When I finally wiggled out of Austin's grasp, I turned around and saw Austin sleeping peacefully even snoring a bit. 

I checked the clock and it said it was about 8 in the morning. I decided to get ready for the day since everyone was still asleep. 

I picked out a simple outfit that had jeans which I rolled up, a white shirt, a teal blazer, and a pair of my black heels. I wasn't planning on wearing heels, but I missed wearing them since at my last job I was always in heels as a fashion photographer. I straightened my hair, and put on some shades since we were in Arizona I knew to come prepared for the sun. I grabbed my bag and walked off the bus. I found a cab that would take me to the nearest Starbucks. 

I walked inhaling the familiar scent that I've missed so dearly. Seattle did have it's coffee advantages even though the weather was something one had to get used to. 

I ordered the boys' favorites and I got a very large quad shot Caramel Macchiato. I got back in the cab, because the man was nice enough to wait outside and took me back to the bus. 

I walked in the bus in the midst of chaos. The boys were being messy and fighting. As soon as they saw me, they all relaxed and came up to me to hug me.

"Oh my god, there you are!" Adam exclaimed.

"We thought you were kidnapped or something!" Alan yelled.

"Don't ever scare us like that again Laiya, do you have any idea how worried we've been?" Austin said making my heart do flips hearing his voice.

"Um, I went to get coffee. You're all welcome by the way." I said smirking at them setting the coffees down on the table. That shut them up for awhile, so they grabbed their coffees. 

"How do you remember what we like? I think we went to Starbucks once with you," Phil asked incredulous shaking his head. 

I shrugged and sipped my coffee. 

"Kay now that we found our little Laiya, let's get ready to go guys," Tino said walking in putting on a shirt.

"Where we going?" I asked looking at Adam.

He winked at me, and replied "Well, since we're going to be here for three days for a music festival we're going to a hotel then we'll start back up on the tour after."

"Really? This is gonna be rad." I said running to my bunk packing all of my stuff. 

I walked back to the front with my huge suitcase with everyone laughing at me. 

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"You're just so cute when you're excited," Alan said putting his arm around me.

"Shut up Gingy, I've just missed a good shower and bed," I said blushing. 

"Well, this festival is gonna be sick! You're gonna get some great pictures." He said smiling his million dollar smile.

"Wait who's rooming with who?" I asked looking at the large amount of guys, and then it hit me I'm gonna be the only girl with the boys.

"Don't worry, our manager got you your own room with you being a girl and all," Phil said wriggling his eyebrows at me causing me to almost choke on my macchiato from laughter. 

"Guys, you didn't have to do that. I'm cool with rooming with Adam.." I said, but of course none of them were having it.

We got to the hotel in time for check-in when Austin walked up beside me. He put his arm around my shoulders, and grabbed my bag from me.

"Pretty lady like you shouldn't be carrying her own bags," he whispered in my ear making me laugh.

"Well, a lady wouldn't talk to strangers kind sir," I said in a fake southern accent that caused him to crack up.

"Well, well, someone's a litle sassy when they're all dressed.." He said stopping midsentence when we both heard it.

"Oi, Laiya," Oli called out to me. I had completely forgotten everything till that moment when it all came at me like a bulldozer. All three of us got into the elevator, and I just wanted to die from the tense atmosphere.

"Hey Oli, you staying here too?" I asked noticing Austin who tensed up beside me.

"Yeah, all the bands of the festival are. So, I was wondering want to go to dinner with me and the boys?" He said with a smile that made my heart melt. Stop it, you can't have feelings for both of them stupid.

"Um.."

"Actually Oliver that sounds great, the boys wanted everyone to have a group dinner so that's perfect," Austin answered. Oli was staring at Austin's arm around my shoulders and soon I get out from underneath him to make things less awkward.

"Oh, yeah sounds cool. I'll let them know," Oli said walking out of the elevator as soon as it opened. 

Austin and I walked out and down to our rooms in silence. As soon as we got my room, he spoke up "Laiya?"

"Yes?" I looked deep into his chocolate eyes seeing the pain he had been trying to hide.

"Do you feel anything for Oliver?" It was as if time had stopped. I looked at him, the man I felt so much more than I could have ever imagined feeling for, look at me and I knew I couldn't give him an answer.

"It's complicated," it was the truth. Unfortunately, it wasn't what Austin wanted to hear. 

"Let me know when it's not complicated." He said angrily and put down my bag. Walking off, I heard him mutter "fuck this." 

I felt tears prick my eyes, and I unlocked my door, pulling in my bag with me. I opened my bag to my stash of pills I always kept. I'd been sober for a few years, but when something pulls me down into the darkness I just tie an anchor to me to make sure I stay there. Oxycotton, Hydrocodone, and a little bit of Percocets to let me drift into a blur. I swallowed them down with some water, and I looked at myself in the mirror.

I thought to myself, I wish I could be what he needed, what he wanted, but truth was I'm nothing close to being enough for anyone. These amazing men are just so fantastic, and I'm sure any woman would love having them fight over her, but not me. I'm disgusting. Seriously, why couldn't you have just died when you were supposed to?

I felt the tears fall down my face faster and faster. The pills started to kick in when I felt my body go numb, and I let myself be consumed by the self-hatred I had suppressed for so long. 

I laid on the bed feeling myself drift in and out of conciousness. I loved the sensations of touch when I was high. I just felt every single thing 10x more. I felt every fiber in the quilt, and every fiber of thread I had on my body. It was amazing. I don't know why I ever quit, but I sure as hell wasn't going to now. 

I was growing weary, and soon I was gone.