I always thought that I would be comfortable opening up
To someone that I knew
I suppose I have told friends intimate details about my life
My regrettable actions
My unwelcome thoughts
But closeness isn't brought by knowing what Happened
What I actually do
Isn't as personal as why I did it
Why I do it
Why I think it
I had hope that one day
I'd feel comfortable being close with someone else
That day is never going to happen
I will never be able to put into words
Just how I feel
Well at least not in words that can be shared
At least not in words that can be shared to people I know
I am no longer particularly close to anyone
Even if they think they're close to me
Not close with my friends
Definitely not close with family
I never thought I'd have to resort to hotlines
But I suppose that's what happens
When you grew up never being able to connect
At least not connect with people
