Sometimes I question the decisions of my past
I wonder about them now
I wonder about how I'll feel in the future
Will I ever regret doing this
Will the potential consequences ever set in
Will I ever realize how much worse things may have been
Will I do it all again one day
Was this the first and last time
Or was this the start of a pattern
If this was a pattern would I actually care
Will the weight of the situation ever hit
Does the situation have any weight at all
Is all I have left of those days
A few marks here and there
Lines almost unnoticeable to others
Lines that my fingers can trace
Lines that draw my eyes attention
Are they just lines now
Would it have made a difference if they needed stitches
Would it make a difference now if it hurt more back then
Am I supposed to regret this
Are my thighs angry red with marks
Will they fade till even I can't see them
Will I ever forget what they mean
Should I forget
Do they mean anything
If it was a cry for help
Then it didn't work
I don't think it was
Was it a sign to stop
A sign saying you won't succeed
A sign saying life is better lived in your control
A sign reading warning in red
Proced with caution
Is it a sign at all
Logic says I should regret it
My heart says I ought to feel bad
But I don't feel bad
I feel lost
I feel confused
I feel like I should know the answer
I feel like I won't regret those days
I feel like those days are behind me
Remnants of a worse time
I don't think times will ever change
I doubt things will actually get better
But I think I've learned
At least right now
Suicide is definitely not the answer
