Attention Truelove

Chapter 50

"Want to talk about it?" Aphrodite asks me.

"Not really," I mumble.

"Skylar maybe you should start taking your medication again. If being off of it is going to cause more moments like the one you had yesterday, I think it's best if we—"

"I flushed them down the toilet." I cut her off.

"What!? Why would you do that?" she turns fully to me.

I stay staring off at the big green lake, it's not hard to imagine some type of horrible creature lurking beneath the surface.

"Answer me!"

"Only if you promise not to tell Jade," I turn to look at her.

Her brows scrunch together in confusion.

"Please, she's already freaking out as it is. I just... don't want her to know."

"Know what?"

I feel my eyes water and turn away from her, shaking my head in shame. My stomach knots together in dread. I don't want to say it out loud. It scares me.

"Skylar," Aphrodite grabs my hand in her own.

"I tried to commit suicide the other night by taking a lot of pills," I sob and cover my face.

"Oh my god." She says.

"I was just feeling so horrible. And Jade was so happy, I didn't want to ruin her happiness by telling her I was thinking those things. I don't even know why I was thinking them, I just was. It was so awful." I break down.

Aphrodite sighs and pulls me into her arms.

"I took a lot of pills and then I got scared, and started freaking out about how Jade would find my body. I ended up getting so freaked out I threw up all the pills. After that I got rid of it all, I don't trust myself with them anymore." I explain.

It felt good to tell someone, to get it off my chest. Instantly it started raining. Loud and heavy rain. Pelting the roof of the hotel and dripping down the railing on the balcony.

"Come on, let's go inside." She pulls me back into the room.

"I swear I was fine, I was, then my mind just started going to that dark place again for no reason. Soon I was spiraling and next thing I know..." I explain.

"Do you think it was your medication causing this?" she asks.

"I don't know! But having suicidal thoughts and actions can be a side effect. It's why I wanted to stop." I sit down on the bed.

She sighs and sits next to me.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry you have to keep coming and cleaning up my messes. I'm not trying to take advantage of you I swear." I sob.

She just rubs my back.

"Do you think I should just call this whole trip off? Go home?" I meet her eyes.

"Don't you? Skylar, what you did yesterday was scary. As soon as I saw the stream I got on the first flight over here. Before Jade even called me."

"I just go so overwhelmed. All I could think about was how I almost killed myself. How I was taking advantage of Jade, she's the one paying for all of this! I'm broke! I'm sure all this just blew up any chances of me getting that deal with Nike. It's only a matter of time before it's all over the news. Crazy girl tries to kill herself, again!"

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down."

I sniffle and cover my face, shaking my head as I try and catch my breath.