The Dark Of Our Worlds

It Couldn't Be

By the time the end of the month came, Lorelai was ready to run away and never come back. It was nothing anyone had done, or anything they'd said. It was merely her own thoughts, her own head, telling her over and over again that she wasn't worthy of the life she'd been given. She was a monster, a freak. Her heart had never felt so cold. 

***

The night was bitter and bleak. Of course, it was the same night she'd lived through hundreds of times over, but it felt different... empty, like a bit of it had died. The rain was coming down hard. Lorelai pulled her coat tight around her as she hurried away from the house, her hammering footsteps splashing in puddles with every few steps.

She wasn't leaving the loop - she'd die if she did. So she simply made for the ocean, hoping to swim and not stop swimming until she was far enough away she wouldn't bother anyone ever again. 

By the time she reached the beach, it was one am. Waves were lashing at the sand, crawling their way up the beach to grab her by the ankles and pull her into the depths. She removed her coat and shoes, placing them neatly on the sand by the patch of rocks. For a moment, she caught a glimpse of the hole leading to her cave. 

It felt like a stab to the heart. Tears welled in her eyes but she quickly wiped them away. No. She couldn't reconsider this, she had to leave, she had to run. She couldn't stay there. 

She stepped towards the ocean, the waves instantly grasping her ankles and pulling her deeper. As soon as the water hit her waist, she transformed, throwing herself down into the depths. The second she was submerged, she knew. She knew something was different. 

There was a feeling in Lorelai's chest she had never felt before. There was a feeling in her chest she had never felt before. It was both beautiful and terrifying at the same time. She swam further and further out. She didn't even know where she was going. She was simply following her gut. 

As she got further out, an energy seemed to fill her, something pulling her further and further into the open ocean. 

***

She didn't know how long she was swimming, only that the sun was up by the time she got where she was going. The morning light reflected on the water, nearly blinding her. In the distance she could just about see the outline of something, something she couldn't quite make out. She moved closer.

No.

No it couldn't be.